Page 129 of Pervade London
I squeezed my eyelids closed for a beat, enjoying the soothing memory of being wrapped in their arms. I already missed spending time alone with them.
My experience at the Ballad estate had been flawed at the start, but the threat of torture had morphed into carnal pleasure. Even now, hours later, my body thrummed from our lovemaking.
No, love wasn’t part of it. It had strived to be something darker, something forbidden. A ménage-à-trois that took fucking to an entirely new dimension—the forget-you-exist kind.
It was hard to tear my eyes away from James—the architect of my pleasure and pain. That wicked mouth had delivered blinding pleasure, his charismatic presence placing him firmly at the center of the universe. It made me wonder what drove him, what spurred him on to place himself as king of everything. Or, who made that decision for him.
Gone were the jeans and shirt from before—he had donned a designer suit, a shiny pair of brogues, and had even put on an expensive watch. His tousled hair had been arranged in a sophisticated style.
I hate him.
Hated how he’d drawn me into the center of his flame.
Had I gone willingly?
His promise to take me again soon with Xavier present alighted my being, burning me from the inside out. The attraction I felt for him was intoxicating, and even though uncertainty plagued me, I couldn’t walk away. This craving for more of them—more conversations, more shared meals, more passion—was impossible to deny.
I needed it…needed them.
As though sensing my stare, James looked up from the screen. He didn’t smile, though, and there was no reassuring gesture. No kindness. With each beat of his heart, he was transforming back into the man I’d first met, reasserting his control.
Xavier’s eyes were closed as he relaxed during the flight, as though us being whisked away was perfectly normal. He’d gone for a more casual look, wearing jeans and a Polo shirt—and wearing a different pair of shoes than the ones he’d arrived in. He kept clothes back at Ballad’s castle, and I found it unsettling.
Xavier opened an eyelid for a split second and offered a smile. His way of saying there was nothing to fear.
I knew better.
Xavier was my home—which made James the wilderness that led away from him. There was no escaping this experience. No escaping James. My feet were already entangled in the brush and I was tripping to get away.
And yet my attachment to them always pulled me back.
From the arrogant glance James gave me, exuding his authority, he could see I was falling for him.Ifwe were ever intimate again, I’d bite his lip and make him bleed—bleed like he was making our hearts bleed for him.
James eased a sleek briefcase off the seat beside him and pulled out a laptop. He rested it on his knees and cracked it open. He typed away with his focus on the screen.He was missing the picturesque scenery of winding country lanes and endless hedges, the vast stretches of greenery along with the richest tapestries of color.
I watched him work, hoping there was no end in sight to our ménage-à-trois. My chest tightened when I allowed my thoughts to drift there.
The helicopter dipped.
Neither of them flinched. I was the only one gripping my seatbelt like it made a difference and could actually save me if this thing went down—like the Puma that was shot out of the sky because they’d believed Ballad was on board.
Jesus.I hoped they’d not gotten intel about his latest movements. I’m sure there were perks to his lifestyle, but this sinister threat didn’t make them worthwhile.
My violin case sat securely on the empty seat on my left. James had strapped it in to keep it from shifting during the flight. Its aged case and what lay within was a reminder of the responsibility of owning it. That Strad brought the promise of a brighter future. Something I could trust.
This was what my life had become…helicopter rides, castles, and revelations that the world was not as it seemed. And these two enigmatic and complicated men who had vague job descriptions and even greyer connections to power.
The thought of the last twenty-four hours brought on a tidal wave of emotions. Tendrils of doubt burrowed deep inside me.
Xavier undid his seatbelt and came over to me, sitting on my right. He took my hand in his and brought it to his mouth, kissing my fingers. Then he offered me a drop-dead beautiful smile. He rested our clasped hands in his lap as though sensing my nervousness.
Puffs of billowing clouds dissipated to reveal the River Thames twisting through the landscape.
“You’re missing it,” I told James.
He looked up at me and blinked, as though replaying my words. Then he turned to look out at the scenery, a curl of a smile at the corner of his lips.
“What are you working on?” I asked.
