Page 16 of The Game
But Kate continued as if nothing were amiss. ‘I don’t think he even realises he’s doing it half the time. Something tells me he’ll feel a bit lost once you’re gone.’
Once you’re gone.
The words sliced through Alyssa’s heart, and she had to turn away.
He’ll feel lost. Once you’re gone.
She squeezed her eyes shut and willed her lungs to work. How could she have been so stupid! Who in their right mind would befriend a guy and keep a secret this huge? Even if he didn’t have feelings for her, he was still her friend. If he knew the truth, though, he’d think she’d used him.
Which she had.
She needed to leave, wanted to run. But she couldn’t, not yet. Dean deserved more than that. She needed to find the strength to end this properly, to convince him their few weeks of fun had simply come to an end. She had to do what she could to make sure he didn’t feel lost once she … removed herself from his life.
Kate, clearly unaware of Alyssa’s inner turmoil, suggested they head back as it looked as if the guys had finished cooking. Fighting for composure, Alyssa followed one step behind, and when she and Kate re-joined Dean and Matt, she strove to keep her mask in place. Going through the motions, she piled food on her plate, nodded and smiled at Dean to assure him she was fine, answered questions and laughed when it seemed expected, and tried to eat her meal, though her mouth was so dry she didn’t taste anything and had trouble swallowing each mouthful.
Around the time the sun was going down, Kate and Matt left to take a walk along the beach. Like Alyssa, they’d missed witnessing the sun setting on the west coast so were prepared to brave the Australia Day crowds to get a good view.
Trepidation surged within Alyssa, making her feel nauseous, but she swallowed it down. Now that she and Dean were alone, this was her chance to talk to him. Except when she turned to face him, he wiggled his eyebrows at her, then captured her mouth with his. Surprised, Alyssa fell into his kiss, responded to him the way she knew he loved, but only for a moment, only until she remembered what she needed to do.
Pulling back, she pressed her fingers to his lips. Forced a smile to hers. And met his gaze head on.
‘I have some news.’
‘Mmm?’ Dean leaned closer and nuzzled her neck.
‘Dean.’ She pushed him away, determined to make him listen. He needed to hear this. ‘I said I’ve had some news.’
He studied her briefly, then settled in beside her as if gearing up to hear a story. ‘Okay, shoot.’
Alyssa took a deep breath and prayed her voice wouldn’t betray her. ‘I had a call from my orchestra director in Sydney earlier today, and he told me there’s an opening for first violin. It’s what I’ve been working towards for years, so when he offered it to me, I accepted. But … the only thing is—’ her voice faltered when she met his gaze, saw his apprehension reflected back at her, ‘—they need me as soon as possible. My flight leaves tomorrow.’
Dean blinked, then nodded slowly. ‘Wow, that’s … amazing. Everything you’ve been working towards, huh?’
‘Yeah.’ She held her breath, trying to decide whether she should keep talking or wait for him to process the news. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he upset, hurt, completely fine?
He flashed her a smile. ‘Well, congratulations! That’s great news!’ He bumped his shoulder to hers and smacked a loud kiss on her cheek.
Alyssa tried not to make her relief obvious, but she felt the tension seep from her body immediately.
He’d be okay, she was sure of it.
‘I’m kinda bummed our time together has been cut short,’ she said. He deserved to know she’d miss him, didn’t he?
‘Yeah, me too,’ he said. ‘It’s been fun, though, right?’
‘Absolutely.’
She smiled but couldn’t help the immense sadness that settled deep in her bones. For now, though, she’d ignore it. Not until she’d said goodbye and wished him well would she think about what came next.
Chapter 8
‘Dig deeper! Feel the burn. Savour it! And when you feel like you’ve reached your limits, push harder! No excuses!’
Dean paced in front of the group as they squatted, time after time, their faces contorting with pain and bodies dripping with sweat despite the morning’s mild temperature and cool breeze coming off the Indian Ocean. No doubt, most in attendance had partied hard for Australia Day, but they were here because they were committed to fitness, and commitment never took a holiday. Admittedly, he didn’t normally take such a hard-arse approach in his training sessions, but Alyssa’s bombshell yesterday had left him reeling, and he didn’t know how to feel.
Scratch that. He knew exactly how he felt, alternating between being miserable—not knowing when or if he’d ever see her again—and being so bloody angry at himself for getting attached. Right now, he was seething, and it gave him some relief to take his resentment out on his class.
As he yelled instructions at the group, he cursed his own stupidity. He’d started thinking about the future, about what his life would be like if Alyssa were a permanent fixture in it. He’d actually considered following her overseas as soon as she’d settled somewhere, had thought about having that conversation with her. He’d lain awake half the night contemplating following her to Sydney, and during a moment of weakness early this morning, before the sun had even risen properly, he’d called her, intending to tell her how he felt.
