Page 15 of The Game
The least she could do was apologise.
‘Kate,’ she said, hanging her head and burying her toes deeper in the sand, ‘I’m sorry I never made more of an effort. I’ve been totally self-absorbed for far too long.’
‘Don’t worry about it, Lyss. You were busy chasing dreams. I get it.’
Kate shifted her weight and glanced out at the horizon. ‘I searched for you online once. Tried to find you on social media.’ Her gaze flicked sideways. ‘How can you not even have a Facebook account, by the way?’
Then, smiling, she shrugged. ‘After a bit of searching, though, I found you. Saw you made it into the orchestra.’ Her smile grew broader. ‘Always knew you would.’
‘Yeah, I made it.’ Alyssa winced. ‘But it wasn’t without cost. I’m sorry I sacrificed our friendship.’
‘Well, to make up for it, you can join me in the twenty-first century and open a social media account. And I expect you to follow me, though I guess I don’t have to warn you about the impending baby spam.’ She laughed and rubbed her belly.
‘You can count on it,’ said Alyssa, smiling softly. ‘I’d love to keep in touch.’
The silence stretched out between them until, eventually, Kate turned in the direction of their picnic spot, where the guys still stood barbecuing.
‘I was surprised to hear you and Dean have been spending time together. I always thought you couldn’t stand him.’
‘Ugh. I couldn’t. He was insufferable.’
Kate laughed along with Alyssa, though she screwed up her nose. ‘Yes. And for that, I apologise. His behaviour towards you was the equivalent of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails.’
Alyssa’s laughter died suddenly. ‘You think he liked me back then?’
Kate gave her a quizzical look. ‘Uh, yeah. Not that it’s any excuse whatsoever! But I thought you knew.’
Shaking her head, Alyssa tried to remain calm—at least on the outside. Inside, she was running scared. If Dean had liked her back then, could he still be harbouring those feelings? She dug her nails into her palms, trying to tell herself she’d done the right thing; she’d put a time limit on their relationship—friendship—tour agreement—whatever the hell they were calling it!
‘I worry about him, you know,’ said Kate, still staring in Dean’s direction. ‘Mum and Dad’s disaster of a marriage really screwed with his head, I think.’
‘He mentioned something about that.’ A feeling of unease settled in the pit of Alyssa’s stomach. ‘Can I ask what happened? I always thought your parents got on well.’
An ominous shadow passed over Kate’s face. ‘Yeah, on the surface everything was fine. Even to Dean and me. But not long after you left town, we noticed Dad drinking a lot. He never opened up to us, but at the time we thought he suspected Mum of having an affair. Then about a year later, they had an enormous fight. Yelling, screaming, the whole shebang. Dean and I heard everything. Mum had been sleeping around, not just with one guy but several, and had apparently developed a fondness for cocaine. Dad had found her stash and confronted her.’
‘Oh my god.’ Alyssa was dumbfounded. Mrs Daniels was a doctor at one of Perth’s biggest hospitals—at least she had been when Alyssa had known her. She’d always seemed so straitlaced.
‘It gets worse.’ Kate’s ire, clearly evident as she’d recounted her mother’s deeds, gave way to something much more sorrowful. ‘After that fight, Mum made no effort to change her ways, but Dad refused to kick her out. Instead, he spiralled. His drinking was out of control. He lost his job, his friends. Dean tried to talk to him, to help him, but he just kept drinking.’
Tears welled in Kate’s eyes, and she breathed deeply, obviously struggling for composure. Alyssa braced herself.
‘One night, he was walking home from the pub. He’d been drinking heavily and he … staggered out in front of a car. He was killed instantly.’
‘Oh, Kate.’ Alyssa laid a hand on Kate’s arm. Even she was finding it difficult to contain her emotions. She couldn’t believe Kate was managing to hold it together. But the tears swimming in Kate’s eyes had dried up, and her voice now held a steely edge.
‘Mum took all of five days to put the house on the market after Dad’s funeral, then she buggered off to America. We haven’t seen her since.’ She shrugged. ‘We’re better off without her. Family or not, toxic people ruin lives.’
‘Even still,’ said Alyssa, ‘it’s never nice to lose a parent.’ She wrapped an arm around Kate’s shoulders. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. That you had to go through all that alone.’
If she’d been feeling terrible for neglecting their friendship before, she felt downright despicable now. And she vowed that if her treatment was successful, she’d do all she could to be a good friend.
Kate shook her head, smiled and glanced again towards Dean. ‘I wasn’t alone. Dean was there every step of the way. He was my rock.’ But then she frowned. ‘When it came to his personal life, though, he was a little less sure of himself. I worried he might never grow up. Might never find happiness. But he seems different than he did when I saw him last. More settled. More at peace.’
Despite the heat, Alyssa shivered as the shame of what she’d done threatened to drown her. Dean had admitted his jaded outlook towards relationships all stemmed from his parents’ failed marriage. And what had she done? She’d taken advantage of the situation to alleviate her own suffering, to make herself feel better. For god’s sake, she considered Dean a friend, yet she continued to lie to him.
‘He talks about you a lot.’
At Kate’s softly spoken words, Alyssa glanced reluctantly at her, terrified her guilt and shame would be written all over her face. Kate was giving her a curious look, one that Alyssa feared could see all her flaws.
