Page 13 of In the Light of Day

I've been gone five years ...someonehad to miss me.

Right?

“I’ll take her with me, we can follow behind you,” Ace tells the sheriff. I like that idea. I'm not trapped with Ace. I can breathe with him.

“That’s not exactly protocol. We’re already flying blind out here. I've not heard about any bunker in these woods and we can't exactly run a full blown search out here in the middle of the night. She said she killed a man, Ace, that he’s dead in that forest somewhere. We have to at least—”

I can see the frustration rolling off Ace and it makes me feel a little relieved that he just seems to know swapping one cage for another is not high on my to do list today. His breathing is heavy and he rubs his thumb against the back of my hand. The tension in my shoulders drops ever so slightly as this man who has become my lifeline stands up for me.

“Don't do that. Don't talk about her like she's not standing right beside me. She's right fucking here and she doesn't want to go in the patrol car.”

Rubbing his hand over his face, Sheriff Miller looks down as if he's actually seeing me for the first time. A scared woman, covered in blood, spouting stories that she's been missing for the past five years, but there’s no record of it.

I can see how this looks to him. I understand that all he has is my word at this point and nothing he can find supports my story. I hate it, but I understand. Taking a deep breath, he returns his focus to Ace.

“She can go with you. Stay directly behind me. No stopping.”

Ace nods in agreement, giving my hand a squeeze at a small victory in our favour.

“Nova, I will need to interview you when we get there. I need to know everything you remember so I can stop this from happening to someone else. I understand you think you have killed this man but until I have it confirmed we need to operate as if he's still alive and could hurt someone else.”

“I understand,” is all I can manage. The thought of having to explain what happened to the sheriff making me nauseous. I’m not naive enough to know I won't have to tell my story over and over. I remember the shows on TV, the ones where a lawyer would pick at people's stories, keep going for them over and over until they broke. Then they could create more doubt in their story. Gaslight them into doubting their own lived experiences ...reliving their trauma. Is that what's going to happen to me? Will I have to talk about this over and over and hope that someone believes my story enough to not push too deep, so the fragile pieces of my existence stay together?

The loud beep of the sheriff's radio brings me out of my pity party and I notice the shift in the air. Both Ace and Sheriff Miller are tense as they look down the road to where a deputy has stopped a passing vehicle. But all I can think is how relieved I feel that if Ace wasn't here when I stumbled from the forest, I wouldn't have needed to wait too long before another car came.

The radio crackles and I can't understand anything that’s being transmitted, the static voices too unclear, however, he seems to share a silent conversation with Ace who turns and comfortably sets me up in his passenger seat, ensuring the windows are down and the snacks he gave me earlier are in reach. He returns to the sheriff's side and they both watch as a beat up white car drives by. I can't quite make out the driver inside, the headlights shining in my eyes. But after it's out of sight, Ace returns and starts his truck, the loud rumble of the engine calming to a soft purr. I still feel a little uncertain about everything but then I have just escaped hell on earth, not to mention the fact I feel absolutely nothing over ending my uncle's life. I’m sure there’s some obvious reason why I'm attaching myself to the man next to me too, but until it feels wrong I'm going to trust that I'm safe with him. I can't physically do this alone, I need something,him, an anchor to hold me here.

The wind blows in my hair and I can feel it tickle across my skin in all directions. A genuine smile crossing my face for the first time in forever as I look over to Ace, laughing out loud at the pure elation I'm feeling, the sound unnatural in my ears. I can feel the wind, smell the fresh air and I don't think I have to be snow anymore. Such simple things that most people take for granted but I hope I never do.

I think ... I might actually be free.

Chapter 10 - Nova

I lied.

I am snow.

I am snow.

I am snow.

Shutting my eyes as tight as I can, I try and push myself into Ace's back so I disappear. If the doctor can not see me then he can not examine me. The minute they said aSexual Assault Investigation Kitwas the best chance to gather evidence, I became snow again.

“No. No. No,” I repeat over and over into Ace's back. As soon as the Doctor came into the small interview room at the sheriff's station I knew I was in trouble. He explained what they wanted to do and I began to hyperventilate, my vision growing fuzzy at the edges, which then caused Ace to become my human shield against the two other men in the room.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't face another strange man like that.

I get it, I do, and a part of me wants to help them. I wish I could do everything they ask of me without issue, but this ... this, I can't. I don't need an examination to know what my uncle did to me in the bunker. I have permanent reminders of it spread across my body. Let alone the memories that scream at me, wanting my constant attention.

I can't do it.

I am snow.

I am snow.

“How about we just take a second here to calm down? Everything that’s happened tonight is unorthodox and at this stage off the record. I can’t get through to any of the larger stations for support for at least 48 hours. A damn logging truck took out the bloody signal tower up on the ridge so we’re in our own little bubble for a bit—”

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