Page 67 of Misery and Ecstasy

“Well, I wasn’t exactly excited to wake up alone. I took the hint that you probably needed space. But if it will help for me to communicate more with you, then that’s what I’ll do.”

She tugs on her ear, appearing conflicted. Like she’s unsure if I will be able to handle her wants or needs.

“Thank you for telling me about your prior relationships, Kins.” Finally, she looks at me again. “I know that was probably hard for you. I don’t have much experience being in a relationship. I cared for Eva, but I didn’t really know how to be there for her. I don’t want to make the same mistakes with you, so I’m going to need you to tell me if I’m doing something wrong.”

Her eyes glisten as she blinks rapidly. Nodding, she gifts me a small smile. It’s as though I’ve said exactly what she needed to hear in order to make her believe that I’m in this for the long run. To make sure she knows that her happiness is important to me, and that I’m going to hold on to my promise of never giving up on her.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

MCKINSEY

The past month has had its highs and lows.

I’d say it’s typical relationship shit, but I really don’t know whattypical relationship shitlooks like. Actually, I’m certain that any relationship shit between Draven and I would be far fromtypical, so I think we’re doing okay considering.

I’ve felt myself grow, both in how I react to certain situations as well as by shutting down less when my anxiety takes over. Draven still hasn’t gotten me over to the clubhouse in order to help stifle my fear of the other men, but he’s determined to do so.

He’s even got Delilah and Harleigh in on trying to convince me.

I’ve tentatively accepted their invitation to dinner this Thursday night, but I’m on the hunt for any excuse I can use to get out of it.

Part of me wants to march in there with my head held high and not let them see me sweat. But the other part of me feels like I don’t need to do that to prove myself to anyone.

At least he has some people in his life who are excited about our attempt at a relationship—Atticus included, who I’ve recently gotten to know a little more. Marissa and Olivia are trying their best to act like they’re supportive, but I know them just as well as they know me.

They don’t trust Draven as far as they can throw him.

Olivia came over for dinner one night to try to get to know him better, but it didn’t end well. The two of them got into it over who would be better at protecting me from harm.

I ended up throwing them both out.

Draven broke into my house later that night, scaring the shit out of me.

It was the best, angriest sex we’ve ever had.

“I have something for you.” Draven sits down in his spot on the sofa as I slide a folder across the table to him.

Despite our inability to last an entire session without getting naked, Draven and I have continued meeting. Royce no longer pays me because, according to him, “I’m not paying for Draven to get his jollies off.”

Eventually, Draven and I made an oath to one another that we would use that hour wisely. Now that he comes over nearly every night, we have plenty of time to get our jollies off outside of his therapy sessions.

I actually prefer not taking Royce’s dirty money anyway. Plus, we’re not only working on Draven during this time, we’re also working on us.

“What is it?” He eyes the folder carefully before opening it.

When his gaze lifts to mine, I cock an eyebrow at him and shrug.

Sighing, he opens the folder, his expression turning hard as stone.

I remain quiet as he shuffles through the papers I’ve given him. I’ve been looking into Lillian Sims for the past couple weeks, trying to build a profile on her using my credentials as a therapist. It’s not against the law. Not exactly.

But itishighly frowned upon.

To get a full background check on Lillian, I also had to fib a little to our good sheriff and tell him I was sent on official club business. I bluffed my ass off and clung desperately to the fact that Draven told his club I was under his protection. If the sheriff decided to bring it up to Royce, I was relying on Draven to keep me safe.

It was a huge step for me.

Despite the progress Draven has made to alleviate the guilt he’s held all these years, he still can’t allow himself to consider the thought that Lillian is out there living her life to the fullest.

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