Page 64 of Misery and Ecstasy

“What is it, Kins?”

My eyes close as my heart beats faster.

“Don’t give up on me.”

Closing the distance between us, he cups my cheeks before uttering words that I will cling to for the rest of my life. “I will never give up on you.”

And then he kisses me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

DRAVEN

Another session with McKinsey has been derailed by our inability to keep our hands off each other. The fierce way we made love this time around was different. Not that I’m complaining... After our talk, with the last barrier between us decimated, it was raw and unfiltered.

It was perfection.

“You should demand a raise from Royce for these therapy sessions, Doc. You’re worth way more than whatever he’s paying you.”

I kiss a path across her chest, where the mounds of her perfect tits begin, before looking back at her with a big smile on my face. She just stares at me, speechless.

“What?” I laugh, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate that comment.

“You make me feel like a whore when you say it like that.”

“I’m sorry. I was just kidding.” Crawling back up her body, I lay next to her, propping my head up on my hand.

“I know.” Turning on her side, she faces me. “So was I. And you’re right; I’m worth a lot more than he’s paying me.”

Placing her hand against my chest, she traces my pecs with her fingers. Her eyes follow the path she’s making as though she’s deep in thought.

Reaching out, I run my hand through her hair before cupping her chin in my palm. A thousand and one worries run through my head as I wonder if she’s feeling all right.

“Please don’t get mad at me for asking this, but are you okay?”

She closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again.

“I am. I just…” She nibbles in her lip as she considers her next words as I silently die waiting, worried she’s about to close herself off again. “I don’t know. I feel different… Better.”

I smile, hoping it masks some of the relief I’m feeling. “Better is good. I’m starting to feel better too.”

“I’m glad. Seriously. You have no idea how awful I’ve felt, thinking that I was failing you at every turn. You were grieving, and I couldn’t get over my own feelings in order to help you.”

“That’s just not true, though. A week ago, I thought I was ready to end it all. Now, for the first time since before my mother got sick, I feel hopeful again. For the first time since I was sixteen, I’m contemplating the fact that maybe I’m not a complete monster. That’s not an opinion of myself I’ve considered for a long time.”

Placing her hand on my cheek, she grabs my full attention. “You arenota monster, Draven. You...”

Her eyes pivot between mine, and I wait for her to continue. But she doesn’t…

And it kills me.

“What is it?” She may think of herself as needy or a lot to handle, but I’m the one who’s desperate for her approval.

I crave every last detail of her opinion on me, whether good or bad. If she needs more from me, I want to give it to her. If she needs less… Well, I’ll try to back off a little, but I can’t make any promises.

I watch the gears turn in her head as she carefully chooses her next words.

“Please, just… Say whatever you need to say. I can take it.”

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