Page 43 of Misery and Ecstasy

“I requested to move it up to four starting this week, remember?” Blinking rapidly, he opens and closes his fists a couple times before wiping his palms on his pants. “You said you would be able to accommodate that. Are you still available?”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, I remember the discussion he and I had last week.

Damn it.

Realizing I’ve forgotten all about the time change suddenly sobers me up from my afternoon rumpus in the sheets. Draven is a dangerous distraction in more than one way. I can’t forget that I’m supposed to be helping Draven, not sleeping with him. And I can’t allow my indiscretions to get in the way of my other patients.

“You’re absolutely correct. I’m so sorry I forgot. Please, come in.”

Mr. Tillman still appears nervous that I’m not happy about him being here early. I make a silent promise to ensure he knows I don’t feel that way by the time he leaves. Waving my hand in the direction of the sofa in my office, he takes a seat.

“I’m going to grab a water. Can I bring you one, Mr. Tillman?”

“That would be great, thank you.” I’m relieved when I notice the lines of his forehead have relaxed.

“Be right back.”

When I get to my kitchen, I open up my texts and click on my message with Draven. I should wait and do it after Mr. Tillman leaves, but for some reason I’m struck with an urgency to squash whatever this is between us now, before this situation gets out of hand. Guilt settles in my stomach as I think about what I’m going to say.

Me:

I’m unable to meet with you tomorrow as I’m booked all day. When I have a moment, I’ll look through my calendar and send you my upcoming availability so we can schedule your next appointment.

Three little dots appear immediately, as though he was already on his phone.

Draven:

Okay.

Man of few words…

Me:

I’ll be as flexible as I can, but my schedule is usually very busy. We may only be able to meet once or twice a week moving forward. I understand you may want to get your 90 days done and over with, but I’m not usually able to meet with my patients on a daily basis. And generally, I don’t schedule appointments on the weekends. This past weekend was a fluke.

Jesus, McK. Sometimes less is more.

Draven:

Whatever works for you, Doc.

So agreeable.

I roll my eyes as my snarky inner voice displays her irritation toward Draven’s amenable response.

Well, at least he’s not being pushy about seeing me again so soon.

As I grab two waters from my fridge, I walk back into my office and wonder whether that last thought was sarcastic or not.

* * *

Tuesday nights are reserved for phone conversations with my mother.

It’s my least favorite night of the week, but it’s a necessary evil to ensure she stays well within the healthy boundaries I’ve set for her. I hate that I hate it so much.

I want to have the loving bond that so many of my peers have with their mothers.

Like what Draven had with his mother.

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