Page 90 of Misery and Ecstasy

“Yes.” My voice comes out in a whisper.

She dumps the contents of the bowl into the hazardous waste bin before returning it to me with more paper towels. “Just in case.”

She smiles, grabbing the phone from my side table and gently laying it in my lap. “I’ll be back as soon as I can to let you know what the team has decided.”

When she’s out of the room again, I grip the phone’s receiver and dial Olivia’s number. Thankfully, she answers right away.

“Olivia Richmond.”

“Don’t tell anyone you’re talking to me.”

“McK?Holy shit we’ve been so worried.” The relief in her voice is palpable, but I believe she just blew my cover.

“Thanks, Liv… I didn’t want Draven to know I called you.”

“Oh! He’s not here. Well, he’s here, but he’s outside.Wait a minute…What the hell is going on?”

“Listen to me very carefully. I’m at Park Hospital.”

“No. Oh, gosh. They brought you to Gettysburg, sweetie.” There is concern in her voice, like she’s worried whatever happened to me messed with my memory.

“I know, but then they transferred me to Park.”

“What? Why?”

I purposely ignore her question. I can’t tell her over the phone. “I asked them not to tell anyone because I don’t want Draven to know.”

Unexpected tears fill my eyes as a sob escapes me.

“McKinsey.” Her voice is thick with emotion. “Please tell me what’s going on.”

Fuck.

“They found a tumor in my brain. I’m waiting right now to see if they’re going to do a biopsy or send me straight to surgery.” Another moan escapes me as a fresh wave of terror sets in.

“Oh my god.”Olivia’s voice is hoarse and barely audible.

“I need you to come here.” Sniffling, I try to compose myself enough to get the rest out. “Do not tell Draven. Don’t even let him know you’re leaving. Just come straight here if you can?—”

“I can’t do that to him. He’smiserable,McK.” Olivia cuts me off, her words hit me like a kick to the gut. “Absolutely fucking heartbroken right now, not knowing what the fuck is going on. The doctors won’t tell us anything.”

My tears begin falling harder, stopping me from being able to speak. Everything I convinced myself of a moment ago… Gone. My heart is breaking, knowing that I’ve hooked him, made himfeel, and now I’m going to be the one to crush him all over again.

“He was right, back at your house. You should have gotten into that car. I never should have argued with him about you or your health.” Olivia’s voice cracks as she begins to break down.

“You don’t understand, Liv. He’s lost too many people already. I failed him by letting him get too close to me, especially while he was still grieving. He’s finally able to embrace life and love, and I don’t want to be the one to cause his world to crumble again.”

“It’s too late for that McK. Whether you push him away now or keep him close only for the unspeakable to happen, he’s done for.” The fissures in my heart expand, splitting it completely in two. “If you should have anyone by your side, it’s Draven. I was so very wrong about him, McK. He’s fucking batshit-crazy unhinged, but he’s completely and absolutely in love with you. That man will move heaven and earth to make sure you’re taken care of.”

I cry harder, thinking I should have known better. Thinking I should have gone back to the doctor as soon as my headaches started up again. Wondering if they could have caught this sooner and whether or not I would still be here right now if they had.

“But listen, okay? It may not be as bad as we’re thinking. There are several different types of brain tumors. We shouldn’t just assume the worst.”

“I-I know. I know. Y-you’re right, it’s just h-hard.” I wipe the tears from my face and try to control the sobs trembling through me.

Olivia waits patiently without saying anything else while I get my terror and emotions under control.

“Now, do you want me to go outside and put Draven on the phone?”

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