Page 88 of Misery and Ecstasy

“Not too much. Just that she’s clingy and overbearing, and I’m not allowed to disclose any personal information about McKinsey to her. Not that I’ve met her. Kins doesn’t really like the idea of introducing us.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Olivia’s mouth quirks on one side then the other as though she’s considering her next words. “Deep down, I don’t think Cheryl isunsafe. If she was, McK would have cut her off like she did her father— Shit. You know about that, right?”

She looks at me like she just broke girl code or something.

“That was actually the first thing she ever told me about herself. We’d just finished therapy…” If bytherapy, I really mean having amazing fucking sex. “I’d shared a lot, and … I don’t know. I guess I just needed to hear something about her, too.”

“How long ago was this?”

“About a month ago, when our sessions first started.”

“Huh…” Olivia’s mouth hangs open slightly, seemingly surprised to hear this. “That’s… Wow.”

“What is it?”

“It’s just… I clearly underestimated how much she liked you at the time.”

I can feel my cheeks burn as I take in this information.

“Well, anyway… Cheryl just made a series of horrible decisions after McK’s dad left. In a way, I feel bad for her. She thought he was the love of her life. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose the person you love most in this world. But in another way, I want to travel back in time and shake the shit out of her for not being stronger for McK’s sake.”

I don’t exactly hear the rest of the story, stuck on something she just said, unable to think about anything else.

I can only imagine what it feels like to lose the person you love most in this world.

I think about my mom and how she must have felt, losing my father.

Herhusband.

I remember how much his death affected me, and I can only imagine she felt that loss tenfold.

And then I think about Kins.

Lying in this hospital in God only knows what kind of condition.

A chill slithers over my body.

Olivia seems to think Kins fell quickly for me based on the fact that she told me about her father so early on.

Well, she wasn’t the only one to fall hard and fast.

And the thought of losing her before we ever get a shot at writing our own love story brings back every ounce of fear and pain I felt the moment I saw her unconscious on the bathroom floor.

CHAPTER THIRTY

MCKINSEY

I’ve gone from one terrifying place to another.

But this one is worse.

Much, much worse.

The transport from Gettysburg to Park felt like it took days instead of an hour. For the entire ride, all I could think about were those people who depend on me the most. The ones who have no reason to believe I won’t be around for them tomorrow. Or the next day. A week from now. A month.

The severed cracks in my heart deepen further with each thought.

I know what it feels like to lose someone you thought would be a part of your life forever. The pain of their loss is paralyzing.

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