Page 84 of Misery and Ecstasy

Twenty minutes later, Dr. Bennett solemnly walks into my room.

Avoiding my gaze and saying nothing, he places his laptop down on the tray next to my bed. He presses a series of keys and clicks the mouse a few times before turning the computer so I can see the results of my CT on the screen.

I don’t look at it, keeping my eyes on the doctor. I don’t know how to read the scan, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions.

He clears his throat before finally looking at me.

“Um… So…”

“Just fucking tell me.” Dr. Bennett’s eyes widen at my exasperation.

Whatever it is, I just need to know. I can’t lay here for one more second without an answer of some kind—good or bad.

“I believe you had a seizure caused by a tumor that was putting pressure on your brain.”

Fuuuck.

I thought I’d terrified the hell out of myself just thinking about everything that could be wrong with me. But to hear him actually utter “tumor” takes my fear to a brand new level I’ve yet to experience in my lifetime.

“A tumor.” The word burns my tongue as though it were dipped in acid.

“I think there is a good chance that it’s GBM, but I?—”

“GBM? I need you to explain it to me like I’m five. Please. Otherwise, it leaves too much room for question and misunderstanding.”

“Brain cancer.”

My entire body feels like it short circuits. I’m glad to be off my feet because I’m certain I would have fallen all over again.

As my heart rate thrashes against my eardrums, I search for my next question. For another answer that could make what he just said even remotely palatable. But my mind is both numb and going a mile a minute at the same time.

“However, I can’t be certain. And we don’t have the resources at this hospital to find out for sure.”

“So… What does that mean?” My voice comes out shaky and higher than usual.

“I’ve arranged for your transport to Park Hospital. They should be here within the next thirty minutes.”

Holy shit.

Everything is moving too fast. Way too fast.

This… This can’t be happening.

“Is there anyone you’d like for us to call?”

“No!No.” I try to take a deep breath, but my lungs feel like they’re full of cement. “Um, I’d prefer if you don’t tell anyone about this. Including the two people in the waiting room.”

He looks at me like Daisy did, but like her, he also doesn’t voice his curiosity.

“Please. The laws of HIPAA require you to keep my medical information private from anyone that I don’t give you express permission to inform.”

Dr. Bennett looks less than enthusiastic that I felt the need to explain the medical privacy act to him.

“I just don’t want them to worry until I know more. Can you have someone go out there and tell them I’m waiting for my scan? Let them know they’ll be allowed back as soon as that’s done?”

Tapping his index and middle fingers against his closed lips, he’s thoughtful for a moment.

“Okay. However, I seem to remember hearing something about the temper of the guy you had in here last time. For everybody’s wellbeing, I hope he’s not one of the people out there.”

---