Page 77 of Misery and Ecstasy

“No, no. I’m okay. I just question whether I’ve actually helped you, or if I’ve just been distracting you.”

“I hate to break it to you, Doc, but you’ve been distracting me since the night we first met.”

She rolls her eyes, wincing at what I assume is a twinge of pain in her head.

“No, but seriously. You have actually helped me. Do you want to know how?”

“Hit me…”

“I was scared of you. The day you picked me up from the police station, I knew you of all people would make me take a look inside myself, and I didn’t want you to see what I saw.”

The skin between her eyes crinkles as she reaches up to cup my cheek.

“Before we met, I thought I was a terrible person. I believed that because of certain paths I’ve taken in my life—certain unspeakable actions I’ve committed—I’d squandered all hope of finding someone I was able to get lost in. I was convinced I didn’t know how to love Eva because I’d proven time and time again that I wasn’t worthy of love. Until I reluctantly sat my ass down on that couch of yours. Where week after week, you pounded it into my thick skull that the only person I truly needed forgiveness from … was me.”

I link my fingers with hers and bring our joined hands down to rest against her chest.

“You’ve taught me that my actions didn’t result in the death of my parents. And for the first time since my father died, I felt a stirring of life inside of me. A warmth in my soul. Feelings I thought I’d lost forever. But now I recognize a hope within me that no one before you has ever been able to unearth.”

Her breath leaves her in a rush, like my honesty has just knocked the wind out of her. For a fleeting moment, I think it may have been too much for her. Until, finally, she speaks.

“You have no idea how much it means to me to know I’ve made such an impact on you, Draven. And it means even more, knowing that just a short month ago I had to pluck your feelings from you, one word at a time.”

Nervously, I fumble at the charm of one of her necklaces.

“Well…” I take a deep breath, knowing that what I’m about to tell her next could go very badly. “I’ve come to realize … that it’s easier bearing your soul … to someone you’re in love with.”

Kins closes her eyes briefly. When they open again, they’re glistening slightly. My heart starts to beat in overdrive, fearful that this is about to go terribly wrong.

But then she sits up and presses her lips to mine as she straddles my legs. I carefully cradle her face in my hands. Squeezing my eyes shut, I can feel the passion in her kiss, so fierce it almost knocks me over.

When she pulls away from me, I moan, missing the feel of her lips on mine. She removes her shirt, and then her lips are right back on mine again. My hands cling to her naked skin, rubbing everywhere I can reach, wanting to memorize every last inch of her body.

“Draven…” There is a whispered hunger in her voice. “I need you.”

Shifting my body, I lay her down just like I wanted to a few minutes ago. Ridding ourselves of the rest of our clothing, I kiss my way down her body and all the way back up again.

Her eyes lock on mine as I push inside of her. In them I can see affection, desire, need…

And as we slowly writhe against one another on the bank of the river, she lets me know in her own way, that she loves me too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

MCKINSEY

The high I’ve been riding since Draven told me he loved me has come to an end.

For the past couple days, I’ve been holding on to the beautiful moment we shared by the river. Clinging to it, especially when my migraine got so bad I considered bashing my head into the wall to make it stop.

To make everything stop.

All of it.

I’ve been popping the pills Dr. Bennett prescribed me, hoping that they would make the pain fuck off. Thinking the fearful, little voice in the back of my mind was making the pain worse, I’ve tried to ignore it. But even with the decent job I was doing, it’s impossible to ignore Draven.

Who is standing in front of me in my bedroom, his eyes imploring me to see reason as he tightens his grip around my upper arms in frustration.

“McKinsey, I’m not joking. I’m not overreacting, and I’m not asking. You need to let me take you back to the ER to get the scan they should have fucking given you last week.”

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