Page 25 of Misery and Ecstasy

“You’re insinuating that I can’t lean on my family?”

“With both of your parents gone and your brother out of the picture…”

And with me too afraid to pry into the relationships he has with members of the MC, I thought I’d stick to any he may have outside of the club.

“They aren’t my only family, Doc. My brothers in the MC have been more like family these past fifteen years than my actual brother.”

“Okay, that’s fair. So tell me... Who are you able to count on when you’re in pain?”

He’s quiet while he thinks.

“Royce. And Atticus.”

The little bit I know about Royce doesn’t give me much assurance that Draven is getting the emotional support that he needs right now. And I don’t know anything about Atticus.

Draven needs to be able to lean on someone who he can find comfort in. Someone with a bit more of a softer side. It leads me to wonder whether or not Draven has anyone special in his life.

My curiosity is unsettling for two reasons.

First, I shouldn’t be jealous of the thought of him having a special someone in his life.

Second, I most definitely shouldnotbe picturing Draven sprawled across my bed with my body wrapped around his the way that I am.

“What about a significant other?”

He stares pointedly at me before answering. His eyes flare, and I convince myself it’s nothing more than agitation coming from him.

“Don't have one.” Raising his hand, he runs his fingers through his hair before wiping his palm down his face. His leg continues bouncing furiously.

Yes. Definitely agitation.

“Oh, okay.” I look away from him, pretending to refer to my notes just to break the objectionable connection between us.

When my eyes meet his again, he’s looking at me through slightly narrowed lids. His brows furrowed and his head tilted a little to the side.

Curious. Questioning. Absolutely catching on to my undesired relief at learning that he’s not attached to anyone.

“I was going to suggest blowing off steam or working through your emotions in other, healthier forms.”

When I don’t register understanding in his features, I restate my words a bit more transparently than before.

“I asked because sometimes you can get a different, deeper type of support from someone like a girlfriend or wife... An ol’ lady.”

His leg finally stops bouncing. The lines of his face relax, as does his jaw which opens slightly before he catches himself and slams it shut again. Clearing his throat, he answers me.

“Well, I can't say that that's something I have any interest in.”

His leg begins to jump again, but more reserved than before. The movement of his thumb and forefinger rubbing a lock of his hair between them catches my eye. It takes more power than I care to admit to tear my eyes from the motion and refocus on the conversation.

“Um, so… No interest in an ol’ lady?”

“No interest in a relationship,” he answers quickly.

Does he push people away like I do? I have my reasons why, but I wonder what his are. Is he just like me?

“Do you mean you don't want one at this time? Or that you've never had one?” My line of questioning is quickly morphing from innocent to interrogative. Before I have a chance to try to turn it back to morally acceptable, Draven forces a deviation of his own.

“Is this really relevant?”

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