Page 120 of Misery and Ecstasy

“Actually, there’s only one thing I want right now. And it’s to curl up in this bed with you and sleep for eighty-seven days… Or at least through the night.”

Draven doesn’t hide the delight from his face at my suggestion. I’ll never tire of the sight of his happiness.

“But you go eat, and come to me when you’re done. I don’t want you to go hungry.”

“Mmm, Kins.” Looking me up and down, his tongue darts out before he rubs his hand over his chin. “There’s only one thing I’m hungry for… But it’ll be a little longer until I’m allowed a proper feast.”

I haven’t felt the delicious twinge of lust swirling within me for far too long. It’s slight, but it simmers there now. I’m trying to take one day at a time, but I can’t wait for the moment Draven is able to rail me like a freight train again.

He pulls the comforter back then helps me under the sheets before crawling in next to me. Pulling me close to him, I immediately fall asleep.

I wake hours later, when the sky outside the windows is dark and everything in the house is quiet.

Everything except the sound of Draven’s thoughts.

I roll onto my back and turn my head toward him. He’s eyeing the ceiling with his fingers linked together over his chest.

“Hey…” Whispering, I break his concentration.

“Everything okay?” He turns onto his side, his eyebrows drawn with concern.

“I should ask you the same. You woke me up, your thoughts were so loud.”

“I’m sorry.” Closing his eyes, he sighs heavily. “My mind is just racing.”

“Want to talk about it?” Lifting my hand, I struggle to connect with his.

“No. It’s nothing good. I shouldn’t even be thinking it.”

“Tell me. Please?”

He runs his fingers over mine before finally giving in.

“I should be happy enough that you’re even here right now, and I am. More than fucking happy. But I’m struggling not to feel angry that there isn’t one day left in this world that we won’t spend fighting for your survival.”

This is a thought I’ve had almost every single day for the last week and a half.

I still have to go through chemo and radiation to ensure there are no additional cancer cells in my brain. Even with treatment, there is always a risk that the cancer could come back. And we learned that some people beat cancer once, only to be diagnosed with cancer due to radiation years later.

What the fuck is that nonsense?

Its honestly a relief to me that I’m not alone in my fear.

“I’m prepared to help you fight, Kins. I’ll do whatever it takes for the rest of my life to ensure you get to wake up every day. I’m just fucking pissed off wehaveto.”

“I don’t want you thinking you’re the only one who is angry. I’ve been struggling with it, too. On one hand, I’m grateful to be here. On the other, I’m furious, knowing this is going to fuck up the plans I had for my life—for our life.”

The light from the moon shines through the window, catching in Draven’s eyes as he nods.

“But, Draven, life isn’t guaranteed foranyone. It won’t do us any good to waste the rest of our lives being angry and scared. Instead, let’s treat each day as if it will be our last. I want to go on adventures with you, whether they be in the back yard or on the moon doesn’t matter in the least. I want to share all of my secrets and fears with you. I want to get lost in the passion of your kisses. I want to laugh together, cry together. I want to sleep curled in your arms every single night. And I want to fall madly in love with you over and over again.”

He cups my cheek in his palm and swipes away tears I didn’t realize had fallen.

“And on my last day on this earth, as long as I’ve had you to share my life with, I can die happy, knowing I was the luckiest woman in the world.”

EPILOGUE

DRAVEN

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