Page 79 of The Devil's Redemption

Looking at the pile in the middle of the table, there is a yellow nine on the top. I search through my hand and realize I don’t have anything to play. Before I pick a card up, I’m distracted again by what’s happening on the other side of the room.

Watching them intently, I don’t miss the gleam in Lizzy’s eye as Blade pays attention to whatever the fuck problem it is that she made up.

This is bullshit.

Throwing my hand down on the table, I march across the room to where Blade and Lizzy are sitting, thankfully with room enough between them for the holy spirit, as my fourth-grade teacher Sister Isabelle would say.

As I approach them, I overhear Blade saying that he thought Lizzy was going to apologize about something.

About what?

At the last moment, I walk past them and into the garage before quickly turning back and secretly listening to their conversation from the other side of the door.

“Yeah, Cap asked me if you had called,” Blade tells her. “He said that you were going to tell Sasha you’re sorry for acting like a god damn bitch at the garage the other day.

“I just didn’t think that it was super serious. I know now that it is. I didn’t know the full extent of what happened to her. Mariah filled me in earlier.”

“Good, I’m glad you know now. I love her more than anything in the world, and no amount of bullshit will come between us. Do you understand?” he asks firmly.

“Yes. I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”

“Stop chasing patches, Liz. I promise you won’t find what you’re looking for there.”

I sneak a peek around the corner just in time to see Blade get up off of the sofa. What I thought were crocodile tears seem to be the real thing coming from Betty Bitch. Not that it makes me feel sorry for her all of a sudden.

I don’t understand what it’s going to take for the people around here to realize that I’m here to stay. I am in Blade’s life and he’s in mine. It pisses me off to no end, and before I realize what I’m doing, I find myself in front of Lizzy.

“Are you satisfied now?” I ask, not really looking for an answer.

She looks at me with contempt, but quickly her eyes soften, and I watch as she cowers beneath me.

“Are you really going to let a guy make you feel this way?” I ask her, more surprised than anyone at the question coming from my lips. “Let’s get one thing straight. I don’t like you, but—woman to woman—no man should ever make you feel like this. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying Blade was at fault here. I actually think your expectations were all fucked up. But you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.”

She stiffens her back, sitting up as straight as possible.

I really thought she was smarter than this. There is no situation in which she and I willeverbe friends, but when it comes to the destruction of another woman… I will never play a part in that.

* * *

“I should probably get back on birth control,” I pant, trying to catch my breath.

Blade woke me up with a morning quickie. I certainly didn’t mind, but I’m sure now that sex is beginning to get a little easier for me, we’re going to be at it more often. I thought that I’d caught him off guard, but he doesn’t miss a beat answering me.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t be upset if I get you pregnant.” It’s so like him to flip the script, and now I’m the one caught off guard. He rolls onto his side and pins me with a stare. “I say to hell with it, and whatever happens, happens.”

I’m speechless. I want to tell him how ridiculous it is, that I’m too young, and it’s too soon for us to think about having children. Despite everything we’ve been through, we’re a new couple. But I can’t make my mouth move.

Out of nowhere, a text I read from him the other day pops into my mind. He’d sent it after I’d been taken but before he knew I was gone.

You realize there’s no going back, right? I told you, we’re no ordinary couple. Things are different with us. There’s no slowing down, there’s no pivot, no stopping what’s been started.

None of what he said is a lie.

Am I crazy for agreeing with him?

Wearedifferent. Nothing between Blade and I has ever been normal or conventional. If it had been, maybe we wouldn’t be here right now. Maybe we wouldn’t have been attracted to or fallen for one another at all. We both know how short life is and how quickly it can end. Maybe I should adopt his way of thinking.

Let whatever happens, happen?

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