Page 93 of Octane

“Because I’m ashamed, okay?” his voice booms through the vast office.

Carissa offers him a more apathetic look than I do.

“Youshouldbe,” I shoot daggers at him as I speak.

Finally, he turns his attention back to me, and I continue. “Notbecause you made some poor investments.Notbecause you had to borrow money. Not even because you chose to do business with dangerous people. But because you chose yourself over your daughter. And that makes you a big fucking pussy.”

“They threatened to kill me!” he shouts, throwing his hands in the air. “I thought it would be better for Sawyer to feel trapped but still have one living parent, than to be free with none.”

“That’s really weak, Daddy,” Carissa chimes in. “I can’t believe this. I can’t even look at you right now.”

“How much do you owe, exactly?” I ask Zach. “Sawyer said the total she saw on the spreadsheet that Daniel showed her was in the billions. Is that true?”

“No,” he shakes his head.

I look at him skeptically. He’s lied and kept things from us too often for me to believe him outright.

“It’s a lot, but it’s not that high,” he adds.

“How much?” I repeat my question.

“About fifty million dollars.”

Daniel could have fudged the numbers a little in order to make Zach’s debt appear even more serious than it was. I pinch the bridge of my nose because something still seems off about this whole situation. Then it hits me.

“You know, I’m no expert when it comes to gangsters or mob dealings,” I proclaim. “So tell me, how is it you got them to agree to a payment plan? Because I can’t picture the mob offering layaway. But what do I know? I’ve never done shady business before.”

His eyes shoot to Carissa nervously.

“Riss, can you please leave us?” Zach asks his daughter.

“Um, no!” Carissa hisses. “I want to be part of this.”

“I can’t—you can’t be here for this next part.”

“Carissa, please?” I implore her. “For Sawyer?”

“Unbelievable.” She rolls her eyes and storms out of the room.

“There’s only so much shame I can withstand in front of my daughter. Plus, she can’t know this next part for legal reasons,” Zach explains when the door closes.

“Understood,” I respond, both worried and interested in finding out what he has to tell me.

Walking to his desk, Zach sits behind it. I think it makes him feel powerful, which is a feeling I stripped him of in front of his daughter. But I don’t care. It should never have come to this, and now the woman I love is in danger because of it.

Realizing what I just said, I momentarily forget all about Zach.

Love.

Iloveher.

My heart feels full for the first time in days. I amin lovewith Sawyer, and when this entire mess is behind us, I’m going to make sure she feels that love every single day for the rest of her life.

But first, “What do you need to tell me, Zach?”

“When I realized it wasn’t going to be possible to pay them back in full, they weren’t happy, as I’m sure you can imagine.”

I nod my head.

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