Page 80 of Octane

As she looks at the ring in disbelief, I can’t stand the hurt expression on her face.

“Sas, what’s going on? You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me.”

I pull away from her and take a deep, quiet breath. Walking to the bookshelf, I grab a tiny wooden car that Daniel has displayed. I need something for my hands to fidget with.

“I just,” I swallow, “I was doing a lot of thinking, and I just feel like Daniel and I have so much history.”

I turn around to face Carissa and regret it immediately. She crosses her hands over her chest and raises her eyebrows so high, I wonder how she didn’t pull a muscle.

“It would be a shame not to see it through.”

“No,” Carissa argues, shaking a finger at me. “For you to stand there and think that you’ve got me fooled, you must be out of your Goddamn mind.”

“I don’t know what else to say to you,” I try to make my voice sound resolute, but you’d have to be deaf not to hear the uncertainty in my tone. “I’m home now. This is where I belong.”

I’ve seen the ferocious look that materializes on my sister’s face before, but she’s never directed it at me. She opens her mouth to say something else, but Daniel enters the room, stopping her.

“I think you should go now, Carissa. Sawyer has made up her mind.”

“Shutup!” Carissa screams at him with her fists clenched.

She looks like she’s moments from breaking, and it brings tears to my eyes.

“You are upsetting your sister. You need to go,” he reaches for her arm, but she pulls away.

“Stop it!” I yell. I can’t bear to watch him put his hands on her. “Carissa, Daniel’s right. You should go,” I manage to choke out. “I’m a big girl, and I make my own decisions.”

The pain I felt last night, when Daniel forced me to tell him that I wanted to come home, is back with a vengeance. I thought I’d felt all the pain that I could possibly feel. That he had hurt me so badly, nothing could be worse than that. I was very wrong.

“Carissa, please. If you can’t support us, then I don’t want you here.”

My sister purses her lips and nods her head slowly. Disbelief, pain, outrage— these are just a few of the emotions that I see flash in her eyes as I stare her down. My resolve is crumbling the longer we remain in this standoff. Finally, I can’t look at her any longer. I leave the office and walk through the living room to the front door. Opening it, I wait for her.

When she finally emerges from the office and saunters through the living room, she doesn’t look at me. I watch as Daniel exits the office after her, the excitement in his eyes is sickening, and so I won’t overtly react, I clench my teeth together. Just before she steps out into the hall, she comes to an abrupt stop and holds my stare hostage.

“This isn’t over. I don’t know what bullshit he has on you, but if you think for one second that either I orJacksonwill drop this, you’re fucking crazier than he is,” she points to Daniel.

She walks out, and I crumble to the floor in anguish. To hurt Carissa with my lies and deceit, even knowing I did it to save her, is unforgivable. It is in this moment when I realize that the only person capable of hurting me more than Daniel is myself.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

JACKSON

When I got to Carolina International this morning, I managed to get the last seat on their eight thirty flight to LAX. I was hoping that I would have heard from Carissa before we took off, but she never called.

I take my phone off of airplane mode before the wheels even hit the runway at LAX and my heart beats rapidly in my chest as I wait for my cell to get a signal again. When it finally does, two text messages and a voicemail come through.

The texts are both from Nate, letting me know that he told the other guys what was happening and to keep him updated on Sawyer. The voicemail, thankfully, is from Carissa.

“Jackson, it’s Carissa.”

My stomach drops when I hear how badly she’s crying.

“She’s with Daniel. He’s done something to her, convinced her to go back with him.”

My pulse quickens as my anger grows.

“Call me when you get back in town. We need to talk.”

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