Page 47 of Octane

“It’s about Daniel,” I explain the second she takes the headset off.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes when I mention him. “Don’t even get me started on him.”

I direct my attention toward the track rather than at Carissa, so it looks like we’re talking about the race.

“You can’t tell anyone, but I talked to Sawyer the other day about leaving him.” Looking around, I check that no one else has joined us before I go on. “I’ve witnessed him both verbally and physically abusing her.”

Hearing a sniffle come from Carissa, I turn my attention to her briefly and see that tears have filled her eyes. She either didn’t know or suspected but didn’t want to believe it.

“I think she needs help. Will you talk to her… please?

She nods her head and wipes her tears away. “I know he’s a bad person. I’ve been trying to get her to leave him for a long time now. I’ve always suspected foul play, but I’ve never been witness to it. Sawyer would never confirm it either.”

“Thank you,” I smile. “Maybe, if we can make her realize that she’s not in this alone, she’ll have more confidence in being able to leave him.”

“I’ll keep bugging her from my end,” Carissa promises. “She’s my baby sister. I’ll do anything I can to keep her safe.”

There isn’t time for me to reply as the announcer comes over the sound system.

“Ladies and Gentlemen. Please rise and remove your hats for the singing of our National Anthem.”

I look at my watch. Shit. It’s five of one already.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I wanted to try and get back down there before Sawyer gets in her car.”

“No, it’s okay, go ahead. Tell her I said hello. Oh! And tell her not to overthink everything and just drive. It’s what she was meant to do.” She wipes her eyes and gives me a slight smile.

“I will, promise. Thank you, Carissa.”

“And thanks again for letting us watch from your box. See you later.”

I nod to her and walk back to the box.

“Everyone enjoy the race,” I shout to the room before heading down to the track.

SAWYER

I train my breaths.In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. Repeat. Trying to block out the sounds around me, I concentrate on inhaling the positivity and exhaling the doubt. I would feel better if Jackson were here. He came by earlier to say hello, which was nice. He told me he likes to make his rounds to all of his drivers before each race. But when he had to leave, the anxiety started setting in.

He said that he had some owner duties to take care of but that he would be back before we started. I’m beginning to get nervous that he’s not going to make it in time. Pit Road is a flurry of people and sound as everyone gears up and performs last minute checks on each car. The excitement that used to run through me as the sounds thrum through the arena is now overtaken with anxiety.

“Sawyer, let’s check your headset and make sure we’re online,” Joe says.

I put my helmet on and listen as he tests the mic.

“Test one, two, three.”

“All clear,” I tell him.

“Okay, keep it on while I make sure these other sets are good to go.”

We repeat the test four more times, once for each headset that will be worn by my pit crew.

“Okay, we’re good to go, Sawyer.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen. Please rise and remove your hats for the singing of our National Anthem.”

Oh, my God. I’ve lost all track of time, and we’re getting ready to start. It’s too soon. I don’t know if I can do this. Where the hell is Jackson. I close my eyes.

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