Page 3 of Octane

I know what you’re thinking.

Stop whining and leave him already.

But it’s just not that simple. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first everything.

I’ve loved Daniel for as long as I can remember. Our fathers were fraternity brothers at Stanford and still remain best friends to this day. Our families have always done everything together. He’s two years older than me, but that never mattered to him. When we were little, I would follow him everywhere he went. I did whatever he did. Ate whatever he ate. He was my best friend.

I was thirteen the first time he kissed me. He overheard me in our pool house, talking on the phone with one of my friends about my birthday party that night. I was nervous because it was my first boy/girl party. What if we played spin-the-bottle, and I had to kiss someone? I’d never done it before.

When I hung up the phone and walked out onto the pool deck, he had a mischievous glimmer in his eye. I asked him why he was looking at me like that, and he pulled me in for a kiss.

“There, now you’ve had some practice,” he said to me.

I felt his lips on mine for the rest of the night. When I had to kiss Bobby Fletcher later that evening, I pictured myself kissing Daniel instead. Daniel and I flirted a lot with one another after that, but we never did anything more than kiss. That is, until three years later when I visited him at college.

The last night I was there, his Fraternity had a party. That was the night everything changed. Daniel made love to me, taking my virginity. He was so gentle and patient with me. He made me feel beautiful, special, like I was the only girl in the world worth his time.

From that moment on, we were together. Our families supported our relationship, even in the early stages when we were way too young to be thinking about marriage. Daniel and I ending up together was a happy coincidence for them. Both Daddy and Daniel’s father, Warren, agreed that uniting the Stone and Kramer families would only strengthen the empires that they’ve built separately.

Daniel has always viewed the world a bit differently than me, though. He grew up feeling like he should be catered to because of his status. His father raised him on shallow principals, but I’ve followed in my father’s footsteps and want to work hard to earn everything that I have.

Once upon a time we shared the same dreams and promised each other we would never give up on them. Those dreams are what made us truly happy. Like spending the rest of our lives together. Supporting one another in every aspect no matter what. We were going to take on the world, together.

Now? As much as I love racing and as close as I am to my dream, I’d give it all up if it meant that I’d be free of Daniel.

How’s that for irony?

I watch the sparkle in my eyes fade, thinking about when our relationship started its nose-dive into hell. I press my nails hard into the palms of my hands.

The year that I entered college, Stanford, of course, was the year that the dynamic in our relationship changed.

Daniel was a junior in college and had taken a job at Kramer Enterprises, as he’d been expected to do all of his life. Meanwhile, I was scheduled to move into the dorms.

Until Daniel forbade it.

His declaration came out of nowhere, as if a switch was flipped inside of him, shocking me to my core. Never before had he explicitly told me what to do or that he wouldn’t allow me to do something. He explained to me that he was worried about my safety, and he would feel better having me move in with him, where he could keep me protected.

I was seething mad. He was trying to take the college experience that he’d had away from me. I begged my father to let me stay on campus, as we had previously discussed, but Daniel had already filled his head with stories of danger and debauchery. So begrudgingly, I moved in with Daniel.

That was the moment when I went from feeling secure in my relationship to walking on eggshells around Daniel. When his touch no longer ignited the lust inside of me and instead made me cringe. I began to search for the old Daniel, but every time I would mention how he’d changed, it was as if I peeled away another layer, revealing more of his evil within.

Once the semester began, I dove headfirst into my studies, not doing much of anything else except racing. Daniel would come home from work to find me with my nose in one of my textbooks and say things to me like, “You don’t need a degree,” or, “You don’t need a job, I’ll take care of you.” I explained that I wanted to prove myself, but that was met with, “You’re the boss’s future daughter-in-law. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.”

I knew I wanted to go into design and marketing, originally intending to work for Kramer Enterprises. However, from that moment on, I was determined to make it on my own in that industry. The last thing I would do was take a handout, if for nothing other than for my own sense of worth. I put my foot down with my father and was adamant that I would find my own way. Finally, he got off my back about it. Eventually, Warren and Daniel left me alone about it too.

My phone beeps when the reminder for this morning’s meeting goes off, clearing the recollections of my past from my mind. When I glance at my phone, I realize that I’ve been standing here for fifteen minutes.

Damn it!

I’m officially late for work. I take a deep breath and try to calm the weight of dread that builds within me every time I think about Daniel. Grabbing my makeup bag, I begin to set my mask for the day. As I finish getting ready, I replay my phone call with Vic in my mind.

I have a meeting next week to determine if I’ve finally turned my dream into a reality. A flurry of butterflies race through my stomach. It’s all the motivation I need to pick my spirits back up and make today count. I make a quick stop in the kitchen on my way out the door to grab my coffee and an apple.

Today is going to be a great day.

CHAPTER TWO

SAWYER

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