Page 66 of Octane

“Thank you so much for everything. Both of you.” I look from him to my sister. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this on my own.”

Carissa smiles at me then speaks again. “Okay, other than food, I think we have everything.”

“Yes. I have my jewelry, clothes, makeup, hair stuff, toiletries, towels, bedsheets, toilet paper, cleaner and paper towels.” I list off everything we’ve packed. “I think that’s all I’ll need for right now.”

“And we will be just a phone call away if you need anything else,” Jackson offers. “As much as I’d like to haul you over my shoulder and take you and all of your things upstairs with me…”

“Maybe one day,” I look at him, and my heart soars.

I can see myself being with Jackson long term, loving him, maybe even getting married. But I need to make sure that my feelings aren’t based on my current situation. I would hate to rush into a huge decision, such as moving in together, only to realize it was the wrong one once the dust settles.

“Maybe one day,” his words echo mine.

* * *

We managedto get all of my stuff from the condo without Daniel coming home early and ruining our plans. Opening the door to my apartment for the first time is exciting. Carissa’s queen mattress and frame are leaning against the wall just outside the door, so we bring those in first. After putting the bed together and hauling all of my bags inside, Jackson and Carissa insist on going to the grocery store. I know that they don’t want to leave me alone, but honestly, I’m looking forward to it.

I can’t wait to fall asleep alone in my own bed, in a place that is one hundred percent mine. I want to wake up here, get ready for my day here, and get acquainted with the neighborhood surrounding me. Go to a local coffee shop, maybe take a walk to the beach. Start looking for a new job, even.

Once we get home from the grocery store, Jackson orders Chinese, and we sit on the floor of the apartment, eating picnic style. It’s a happy evening, which I haven’t had enough of in my adult life. We joke around with one another, and seeing Carissa and Jackson getting along so well warms my heart.

Shortly after we finish eating, Carissa needs to go, leaving Jackson and me in the apartment together, alone. He helps me clean up and when it looked like he might be ready to leave, suddenly I didn’t want him to go.

“You don’t have to leave right away, unless you want to,” I say to him.

“Well, I was thinking about that.”

He wraps me in his arms and lifts my chin so I’m looking at him.

“We need to leave early tomorrow morning so we can get to Vegas in time for qualifiers. I know that you want to sleep in your own apartment tonight, which is fine. But what if I stay over? We’re driving to the airport together tomorrow anyway.”

He said the words that I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ask him to stay but only because I didn’t want to admit that I was as scared as I was excited to be on my own. Smiling up at him, he speaks again before I’m able to tell him to stay.

“Plus, we could break in your new bed...”

Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I shoot Jackson a playful but devious stare. He hoists me up into the air, and I wrap my legs around him as our lips meet. In my new, tiny space, it only takes Jackson three steps until he’s lowering me to the mattress.

His lips cover mine as we shimmy our way to the middle of the bed. I’ve never been so thankful for gym clothes before because we’re able to tear our clothing off with very little effort. No buttons to struggle with, no zippers or belts adding one additional step in the process. As sexy as it is when Jackson undressed me in the hotel room this past weekend, this is hot, too.

I’m already dripping wet by the time we strip our clothes away. Jackson lifts one of my legs and places my ankle on his shoulder. He looks through me, deep into my soul, as he thrusts inside of me. Over and over, he plunges hard and quick. With every push, he consumes me, and I accept him further into my world.

He’s destroyed every barricade I’d built over the last decade until they laid at my feet, nothing more than jagged rocks scarred with the secrets of my past.

He sawme.

Not the girl who was fighting to fit in to an impossible mold, but the woman I was destined to be.

And I let him in.

Into my life. Into my head. Into my heart.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

SAWYER

“Ugh, sorry,” I groan as I stop my phone from ringing again.

Our entire team is at dinner the night before race day. I don’t want to ruin it with my issues, and this is the third phone call from Daniel in a row. I should have left the damn thing in my hotel room. His calls had stopped until Thursday night. I’m assuming that once he noticed I came back for all of my belongings, he flew into a rage. When Jackson and I woke up on Friday morning, I had twenty-seven missed calls from him and nineteen voicemails that I deleted without listening to.

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