Page 64 of Octane

My face falls as he speaks. I hadn’t even thought about that. I was too worried about the potential fallout for Jackson.

“I want you to know that I will defend you at every turn. I’ll be right here, by your side through it all.”

I can hear Carissa’s squeal of excitement as Jackson pulls me in for a kiss. His lips tell me everything is going to be alright. And for the first time in far too long, I have hope for my future.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

SAWYER

Carissa and I spend the next two days scouring the city for an apartment that I can afford on my own for a little while. I want to stay out of West Hollywood, since that’s where our condo is, so we’ve been looking at areas in the Valley and the Westside neighborhoods. Places where Daniel wouldn’t be caught dead in. I didn’t find quite what I wanted there, so now we’re checking places near the beach.

“I still wish you would move in with me until you get on your feet.” My sister pouts as she parks her car in front of our eighth apartment complex of the day, seventeenth in the past two days. If I have to look at one more, I think I’ll go crazy. Nevertheless, we get out to take a look.

“Riss, I really appreciate that, but I’m almost thirty years old, and I’ve never been on my own. I need to do this for myself.”

The place we’re at now is on Beach Cove Avenue in Venice beach. It’s a newly refinished house with four separate studio apartments inside. Its boho style differs from what I’m used to, but it’s nice, it’s clean, and it’s a short walk to the beach. Most importantly, it’s within my budget, and it includes utilities.

“This one is nice,” I tell Carissa, who is frowning as she looks around.

“The spare room at my house is bigger than this entire apartment, Sas.”

I shoot her a disapproving look as the manager of the apartment complex enters the unit. Her face is kind and welcoming, and I take it as a sign that I’ve finally found the right place.

“Do you have any questions for me?” she asks.

“When would I be able to move in?” I ask her.

“Day after tomorrow, as long as your credit checks out.”

My stomach churns with despair. All of my credit cards are in Daniel’s name. Same with the utilities and other miscellaneous bills we paid every month. The only thing I have to my name is a checking account with twenty-thousand dollars in it and the hope that I can figure out a way to stay afloat long enough to bring in a decent income.

“Do you allow co-signers on the lease?” Carissa comes to my rescue.

“Of course.”

“Great, I’ll cosign for her.”

Looking at my sister, I thank her silently for her support. Deep down, I know she understands why this is so important to me. Carissa majored in business and went to work for Daddy as soon as she graduated, while going for her masters.

She’s been making top dollar at his company, and she relies on no one for help. She’s exactly the strong, successful, independent person that I’m yearning to be. I know that I can get there, it’s just going to take time.

“Wonderful, if you ladies will come with me, we can start filling out the paperwork.”

* * *

Two days later,Carissa and I arrive at the condo complex and meet Jackson in the lobby. I have been dreading this, feeling so nervous to come back here. Scared that I will run into Daniel. We wait until after ten, giving him more than enough time to leave for work.

“Hey, how are you?” Jackson asks as he pulls me in for a hug. “Morning, Carissa.”

The relaxed greeting between Jackson and Carissa gives me a short reprieve from my anxiety. It’s important to me that whoever I have in my life from now on, gets along with my family. Carissa, especially.

“I’m fine, just ready for all of this to be over with.”

“Well, the good news is, we’re not moving an entire condo’s worth of stuff. Just your things.”

“Yeah,” I say to him, “I just won’t be able to relax until we’re done.”

Taking my hand, he leads me to the security desk where Mitch, the morning guard, is sitting.

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