Page 108 of Octane

I nod my head and stay as low to the ground as I can while I crawl to the garage with one bad arm. I can feel Jackson right behind me. There is a brick wall separating the two doors of this garage, and once we reach it, we sit side by side against it.

Jackson looks at Nate who mouths that help is on the way, but it doesn’t make me feel any relief. The only thing that will is seeing Daniel dead on the ground. I’ve never wished death on anyone before in my entire life. Not even Daniel on his worst day. I’ve only ever wished to be free of him. Now I know, however, that can’t happen unless one of us dies.

“Sawyer, you don’t want these deaths on your conscience. Come out now, or I’ll start shooting.”

I see a large wrench sitting on the ground not too far from where I’m sitting. I could grab it and give it to Jackson. He can still try to sneak up on Daniel.

“Jackson,” I whisper, my attention still on the wrench.

When he doesn’t answer, I look next to me and realize he’s not there anymore.

What the fuck?

I lean forward and look around, but he’s nowhere in the garage. I look at Nate and mouth, “Where is he?”

Nate points to his car outside, and I look just in time to see Jackson crawling around the front end of it. I’m going to kill him. He can go out there and risk his life, yet it’s not a big deal? I don’t think so.

“Daniel,” I call out. “I’m going to come out. Please don’t hurt anyone, okay?”

“You’re not really in any kind of position to be making demands, Sawyer.”

“You’re right, but you told me you wouldn’t hurt anyone if I came out. Do you promise?”

“I promise,” he snaps, but I know he’s lying.

I can’t see Jackson, but I’m sure he doesn’t have a cheerful look on his face. When I look at Nate, he tries to tell me to stay put, but I can’t. Jackson is out there, and I need to help him.

“Okay, I’m coming out.”

Slowly, I climb to my feet and peek around the wall before I go. I can’t see Jackson any longer, but I do see Daniel. He’s looking toward the garage, but not at me. He doesn’t know exactly where I am.

I take a deep breath and say a prayer. I’m shaking, terrified that when I step out from behind this wall that will be it for me. In a way, I feel like my life is just beginning. The thought of it ending so quickly shatters my heart.

What was my life for then? I’ve fulfilled no purpose during my time here. I was going to be something. Be someone. I wanted to make my life meaningful. Was I put on this earth simply to be someone’s punching bag? What kind of life is that?

Another wave of sadness hits me as I think about Jackson. I wish all the best for him. He truly deserves to be happy, and I hope he can find someone worthy of him. I wanted to be that person, Jackson. I wanted it so badly. But it turns out I’m not worthy of your love. My story isn’t destined to end with you.

Only with sadness.

With that last thought planted firmly in my mind, I slowly step out from behind my wall of cover.

“Daniel, I announce quietly.

I expect him to raise the gun toward me again, but he doesn’t.

“Sawyer?” His eyes shoot to my left arm, and he sees the blood.

He’s looking at me like he doesn’t know what happened.

Is he high?

“You fucking shot me, Daniel.”

“I… fuck, I was aiming for him. I want him out of our lives, Sawyer. Before he came along, everything was fine.”

In my peripheral vision, I see Jackson’s hand on the ground in front of Nate’s car. I don’t look directly at it because I don’t want to draw Daniel’s attention to it.

“It wasn’t fine, Daniel. You were horrible to me.”

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