Page 50 of With Love

Adrienne

I knew it. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. As he walks out the door, I can’t help but cry. It feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest.

I feel Owen come up from behind me and he places his hands on my upper arms.

“Hey,” he says, “come here.”

I turn around and let him bring me in for a hug.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing, it’s stupid.”

“Don’t say that. Nothing you say or do is stupid. And if he thinks so? Then he’s not worth your time.”

“No, no,” I walk over to the sofa and take a seat. “It’s nothing he did. It was me.”

“I’m sure you didn’t do anything and if you did, you’re probably just overthinking it.”

Sitting down next to me, a little too close, he grabs my hand and links his fingers through mine. Just like Marshall did last night when we were in bed together.

“Talk to me, please? You used to be able to tell me anything. Now, ever since coming here, I feel like we’re strangers. I feel like you don’t need me anymore. Like you don’t want me here.” Looking down at his hands, he seems so small.

“Owen, I’m so sorry for making you feel that way. It wasn’t my intention at all. I definitely want you here, trust me. It’s just that I feel like I have some power here, some control. So I feel like I can handle myself a little better than I used to be able to, you know?”

“Yeah, I can understand that. But even if you don’t need me as much anymore, I still need you. Without you, I have absolutely no one. I know that you have Marshall, but if you need to get anything off of your chest, and you can’t talk to him about it, I want you to be able to come to me.”

I look up at him with a smile.

“Well, after you and Lucy left earlier, Marshall and I started…” My voice fades away not wanting to say anything else and I silently beg that he catches my drift.

“Mmhmm…” he responds, tight-lipped.

“And I was… having trouble… getting there.”

No response this time, just intense eye contact.

“And what came to mind is that the only times that I’ve ever… gotten there… is when I was drugged or… in pain. So, I stopped him. But when I told him what I thought the issue was… well… his reaction was opposite of how he was feeling just prior to that conversation.”

I hang my head slightly and look up at Owen through my lashes.

“Well, that’s really unfair of him.”

“I don’t know, I think I just took him by surprise? Or, maybe he was thinking about how horrible it must have been for me? Being with Lock like that?”

“I guess that’s an idea but, Adrienne, there isn’t anything that would make me react like that to you. Nothing.”

I start twirling my hair like I do when I am deep in thought. I wanted Owen to tell me that I was being crazy, not agree with me. Shit.

“Well then, as a guy, can you think of any other reason why something like this would happen? I mean, I doubt he suffers from some sort of erectile dysfunction. He didn’t have any issues with that at all.”

“Honestly, if I had to guess it may have something to do with the fact that you were with someone else.”

“No, that can’t be it… can it? I mean, it’s not like it was my fault. None of what happened was consensual. He knows that. No, that’s definitely not it.” God, I sound like I’m in denial. Pathetic.

“Hey, why don’t we go outside and get some fresh air. We can hike down to your favorite spot over on the northwest side of the hill.”

“Why are you changing the subject, Owen? What aren’t you telling me?”

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