Page 47 of With Love

“Never.” I speed up the circles that I am rubbing over her clit hoping that will push her over the edge. Her panting grows and her breath quickens but she still hasn’t reached her peak yet.

“Relax, enjoy this. Get out of your head.” I coach her.

“Marshall, I think…”

“Don’t think, baby, just feel.”

“No, that’s not it,” she cries out grabbing both of my hands and stopping me.

“Did I hurt you?” I ask with concern.

“No, but,” she blushes and turns her face away from mine.

Grasping her by the chin, I force her to look at me.

“What happened?”

“You didn’t hurt me, but I think I need you to.”

* * *

Adrienne

Jesus, this is embarrassing.

“I’ve never, you know, had an orgasm without feeling pain or being drugged.”

Marshall wipes his hands down his face and I feel his erection soften beneath me.

“You’re disgusted,” I say as I stand and hurry to put my pajamas back on.

“What? No! No, I’m not. I’m just surprised, that’s all. Adrienne, there is nothing to be ashamed of.”

He stands up and puts his boxers and t-shirt back on.

“Come here,” he takes me by the hand and pulls me into him. “This is new for us all over again. There are going to be some bumps in the road, but I don’t want you thinking that I am going to judge you or think differently of you for something that is his fault.”

“Did we ever do anything like that? Anything having to do with,” I squeeze my eyes shut and purse my lips together not wanting to say the words, but needing to get them out, “pain or degradation, or anything like that?”

“We definitely did some kinky things when we were together, but it was all consensual and we didn’t do anything that was over the top or intentionally more painful than was wanted.”

“Marshall, I’m so sorry about all of this. I feel like I’ve led you on and I never meant for that to happen.”

“I promise, I’m fine. Please don’t be sorry.”

“I think I am going to grab a shower and get ready for the day. Do you have to go out or will I see you when I get downstairs?”

“No, I’ll be here,” he smiles at me.

“Okay, maybe we can watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

I give him a peck on the cheek before he turns and leaves the room.

I strip out of my clothes on the way into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, I let the water heat up while I brush my teeth.

I stare at myself in the mirror. My skin is still flushed. My nipples are still rock hard. Once my teeth are good and clean, I make my way into the shower. The hot water running over my skin feels amazing. After a few minutes of letting the water massage my back, I grab my shampoo and begin working it into my hair. I stick my head under the stream of water to wash it away. It smells like daffodils and it reminds me of something happy, but I can’t place it.

While I am running my hands over my body, making sure my skin is free of the shampoo bubbles, my hand gently grazes over my clit and it sends a shock throughout my entire body. I shake it off and continue wiping all of the suds away. A few minutes later and my clit is still buzzing as if I’m holding a vibrator to it. Fuck, I still really need release. This is the first time I’ve ever been in control in this kind of situation. I place my fingers over my clit again and press gently. My eyes roll backward into my head as the shock rolls through my body once more.

I start moving my hand in a circular motion, mimicking what Marshall was doing earlier. My pulse starts to race, my breathing hitches once again. Desperately, I try to get myself off. The sensation causing my body to tense with delicious anticipation. I’m close again. So close. Please! I will give anything to be able to make this happen! I’m starting to lose my orgasm and I am so frustrated I could scream.

Suddenly, in a last desperate move to achieve my release, I grab my nipple between the thumb and index finger on one of my hands and I squeeze it, hard. I twist it this way and that way, all the while my other hand is still flying over my clit, moving faster than I could have even thought was possible.

I stop and dip two fingers inside of me, then I remove them. Back to my clit, circling, rubbing, squeezing it. Yes, I’m almost there. Closer than I was before. As soon as I feel my release begin, I squeeze both my nipple and my clit, twisting them both between my fingers and it takes everything in me not to scream out loud.

I kneel down on the floor of the shower for what seems like hours before coming back to my senses. Both my body and my mind are like jelly. I make it to my feet with the help of the bench. I can hardly stand on my own let alone find my way out of the shower. Even with the pain that I was inflicting on myself, I was barely able to make myself orgasm. The look on Marshall’s face when I told him I needed pain flashes back into my mind.

I know he said that it was fine, that he wasn’t bothered by it, but I know he isn’t telling me the truth. Not the whole truth anyway. He has always said that the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt me. But what if I need him to? He’s so going to get tired of this. Tired of me. I’ve let myself get too comfortable here. It’s only going to hurt worse when it all comes to an end.

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