Page 32 of With Love

December 25, 2015

My Adrienne,

Today is our first Christmas apart. I am beside myself with grief, pain, guilt.

I set up the Christmas tree exactly how you like it. I had to do it. I wasn’t going to initially, but I heard your voice inside my head telling me that it’s not Christmas without a tree. It’s not Christmas without you either, but I put the damn thing up anyway.

I just got home from the center. I bought a bunch of presents for the kids from us. You should have seen their faces. It brought tears to my eyes. Jesse asked how you were feeling. We told the kids that you were sick and wouldn’t be able to come back until you felt better. We didn’t know what else to say to them.

There is a newer kid there named Taye who is really quiet. Courtney told me that before his parents died, his dad used to play catch with him all the time. I got a few gloves and baseballs for the kids to play around with and I took some of them outside to play. He was like a brand-new kid by the time we came back inside.

Noelle and Leah stopped by with some of her cookies. The kids tore them up, like they always do. Courtney was grateful as usual. She really misses you, and she wanted me to assure you that the center is in good hands while you’re away. You’re missed by so many people.

We’re all desperately waiting for your return.

With Love,

Your Marshall

---