Page 17 of No Time Off

The pig lowered his head, a fierce glare in his eyes. Before I could even process what was happening, he churned madly on his piggy hooves and came straight at me. The man in the red Hawaiian shirt dropped his camera and screamed so loudly, it temporarily deafened me.

OMG!

The pig was coming for me.

ELEVEN

Lexi

Yelping, I leaped up the stage steps to get away. A scream caught in my throat as the pig adeptly followed me up.

How had I not known pigs could climb stairs?

I shrieked and rolled off the stage a mere second before the pig headbutted me. I landed on the ground with a jarring thump, scrambling to my knees as the pig assessed the drop and backed up to jump.

I was rooted to the spot in a weird terror when I saw Slash. He was on the stage behind the pig, creeping up on it. Before he could reach it, the pig lunged at me, lifting his body off the stage like Jennifer Grey leaping into the arms of Patrick Swayze in the movie,Dirty Dancing.

We were milliseconds from porcine impact, proving that pigs could indeed fly, when the pig jerked sideways on his leash and fell squealing back into the front of the stage. Slash held the other end of the leash, his feet splayed to absorb the shock. He held steady as Kai and another villager nabbed it. It squealed in loud protest, but the villagers held firmly.

Assured the pig was finally secure, I sighed in relief, sinking back to the ground. Slash released the leash and jumped from the stage to land beside me.

“Are you okay,cara?” he asked, holding out a hand to help me up.

“Do I look okay?” I snapped. “I was just chased by a pig who wanted to kill me.”

His lips twitched. “Okay, let me rephrase that. Are you hurt?”

Slightly mollified, I checked myself over. “I don’t think so, but it was a close call. I lost the flower in my hair, darn it.”

He kissed my cheek. “Pig magnet or not, you still look beautiful to me.”

Kai and two villagers, in a well-coordinated effort, lifted and carried the uncooperative pig back to the pen. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers. Meanwhile, others were extinguishing the fire on the other side of the stage.

A young woman rushed up to us with her phone out. “Can I get a closeup picture of you two? I got it all on video. It’s amazing. I’ll bet I’ll get two million views on Instagram.”

“Sure, we’ll pose for a photo,” Slash said, causing me to look at him in surprise. “But you have to let us watch the video afterwards.”

“Of course,” she said, beaming.

Puzzled, I stood next to Slash and smiled while she snapped the photo and then handed her phone to Slash. Slash started watching the video when the villagers started using a fire extinguisher on the corner of the stage where the grass skirts went up in flames. We watched in awe as steam and smoke swirled about the stage and the fire was finally put out.

Everyone cheered again.

“That was an amazing video,” Slash said, handing the woman back her phone. “Thank you for sharing.”

I was still in a bit of shock as we started walking back to our table. “So much for a quiet, romantic evening,” I groused. “And I still have to go to the bathroom. Will you walk me there?”

“Why? In case the goat gets loose?”

“Very funny.” I pursed my lips at him. “But maybe.”

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Sorry, couldn’t help myself. Okay,cara. I’ve got your back while you’re in the bathroom.”

I was finally able to safely use the restroom, and Slash spent some time washing his hands and face in the men’s room before the excitement finally settled down.

Once we got back to our table, the man with the red Hawaiian shirt barged up to us. “Wow, lady!” he shouted, causing me to wince. “This is the most exciting luau I’ve ever been to. I’ve never been attacked by my dinner before. That pig really had it in for you. What in the blazes did you do to it?”

“I didn’t do anything,” I said. “Animals just hate me. I was headed to the bathroom, and it got away from the boy and started chasing me.”

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