Page 11 of No Time Off

I threw our trash away, and when I returned to my seat, Lexi whispered in my ear, “Slash, check out the paper she’s reading.”

The woman on the left had opened a gossip tabloid called theGlobal Enquirer. On the front page were multiple images of us. One of the photos showed us racing from the church at our wedding. Another showed Lexi at the grocery store buying a box of Cheerios. The last picture was a more recent closeup of both of us getting into our car in front of our house.

“Stay calm,” I murmured quietly. “They’re not going to recognize us in our disguises.” Yet, despite my reassurances, I had real doubts, as our faces occupied more than half of the front page of the tabloid.

Finished, the woman handed the paper to her friend in the flowered dress. “Look at these two on the cover,” she said, tapping her finger directly on my photo. “He kind of looks like a movie star. James Bond, maybe, but his hair is longer and darker, and he’s a lot sexier than that stuffy British guy. Maybe he’s Spanish. The girl, however, doesn’t look like any Bond girl I remember.”

“Well, Maybelle, you don’t remember like you used to,” her friend cackled.

Maybelle chuffed. “Ha. The paper claims they work for the government, but no one knows who they are. They’re probably secret agents like Bond. That girl, though—who eats Cheerios anymore?”

I felt Lexi stiffen beside me as I tried not to laugh.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Maybelle. I just had Cheerios for breakfast before I came to the airport,” the woman in the dress said. “But you’re not even close to knowing what’s going on. I know who they really are.”

Maybelle glanced at her with wide eyes. “You do? Are you going to tell me?”

“Of course I am. They’re part of the X-Files.”

“The X-Files?”

“You know, aliens. They’re among us. That’s why they’re hiding their identities.” She tapped her finger on my photo again. “No one is this good-looking. He must be some artificial intelligence robot or an alien who they trapped using a fake wedding to lure him out.”

Maybelle looked at her in disbelief. “Why would a wedding attract an alien?”

“How would I know the motivations of an alien?”

Lexi and I exchanged incredulous glances, and I could tell she was struggling to keep a straight face. I hoped my expression didn’t betray my thoughts, which were decidedly mixed at the moment.

“Aliens blend in so well, they could be anywhere,” the woman in the flowered dress continued, lowering her voice. “They could beright in front of usand we’d never know it.”

I suddenly had an idea, so I leaned forward to engage them. “Excuse me, ladies, would you mind if we borrowed your paper when you’re finished with it? My wife left her reading material at home.”

Lexi cast me a surprised glance but went along with it. “Yeah, I…ah, love reading theGlobal Enquirer.”

“Of course,” Maybelle said, promptly handing me the paper. “We’re done with it. Just be warned, young man, there’s not much substance in these papers. Only fools believe everything they read. When I want the truth, I go to the internet.”

“Is that so?” I said politely, accepting the paper. “Thank you for sharing.”

“Our pleasure,” she said.

The two women went back to chatting, so I handed Lexi the paper, lowering my voice. “Hey, Scully, check out the article and see what it says about us.”

“Very funny,” she hissed back.

I chuckled. “Just keep our photos out of sight, and hopefully no one else will see them.”

“Sure, Mulder. Your wish is my command.”

She pretended to read the paper with the front page deftly folded inside until it was time to board. When they called for first class to board, we stood along with the ladies. They boarded ahead of us and took the two seats directly across the aisle from us.

“This could be interesting,” Lexi murmured.

“Or a long flight,” I replied.

We stowed our carry-ons and sat down in the seats, stretching out our legs. The flight attendant brought us champagne, orange juice, and small canapés for a snack before we took off. Lexi disappeared to the bathroom, still nervous, so I took a couple of sips of the champagne and leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes.

It had been an eventful morning.

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