“Is that why you’re drinking?” Gwen’s voice was very quiet. “What do you want to tell me, Elvis?”
“Just give me a minute, okay? I’m trying to get it out without making things worse.”
“Let me help you, then,” Gwen finally said. “You’re breaking up with me. Our close encounters with death made you realize you can’t waste another moment on me. Or maybe seeing Bonnie again reminded you what you could have had with her.”
“Huh?” Elvis said.
“It’s okay,” Gwen continued, but I heard the catch in her voice. “I love you too much to stand in the way of your happiness. I may be completely devastated and destroyed because I’ve just lost the love of my life, but I will leave…for you.”
“Wait. What?” Elvis sounded confused. “You’re leaving me?”
“I told you, Elvis. I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”
“Wait!” he shouted again. “You can’t leave me. I’m sorry I drank. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to spill my freaking guts so you’ll marry me, not leave me.”
There was silence until Gwen spoke. “What did you just say?”
“Never mind. I give up,” Elvis said in despair. “This is hopeless. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this right.”
There was another silence. A really, really, long silence. A silence so long I started to wonder if Gwen had fainted or passed out on the floor. I was about to get out of the shower and call 911 when she finally spoke.
“Elvis Zimmerman, are you askingmeto marryyou?”
“Who else would I be asking? Of course I’m asking you.”
“OMG! OMG!” She shrieked so loudly, I put my hands over my ears. “You want to marry me?”
“Was there any part of that I didn’t make clear? I’m sorry I raised my voice. I was frustrated and the alcohol isn’t helping like I thought it would. I can try to calm down and give it another try, adding a different set of parameters, if that would help.”
“No!” Gwen squealed. “No! I totally didn’t expect this, Elvis. You want to marry me? Really?”
“Is that a no you don’t want to marry me, or a no that you don’t want more parameters?” Elvis sounded stricken and confused. “You appear to be unclear as to the question—” He didn’t finish the sentence, as she must have thrown herself into his arms and started kissing him.
“Yes, yes, yes. Elvis Zimmerman, I will marry you.”
“You will?”
“I will.”
“Wow. Okay.” He sounded dazed. “Well, that went better than expected. But I want to do this right—with my pants on the right way and down on one knee with the ring. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
It was quiet. I stood completely frozen in the tub, even holding my breath in fear Gwen would hear it. There was some clunking from outside the bathroom before Elvis returned.
“Gwen Sinclair, will you marry me?”
He must have opened the ring box, because she squealed again. “Oh my gosh. Elvis, yes, I will marry you. Put that ring on my finger right now.”
After a moment, she gasped. “It’s so gorgeous. It’s my favorite color and cut. I love it, but more importantly, I love you.”
“Great. Can you help me get up now?” he asked. “The bathroom seems to be spinning counterclockwise for some reason.”
The sounds of kissing suddenly filled the bathroom. I started to get nervous all the kissing would lead to something right on the floor and I’d be trapped in the shower for an untenable, not to mention awkward, amount of time.
But Gwen unwittingly saved the day.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” she whispered, and a moment later, I heard them walk that way. I stepped out of the shower and carefully peeked around the open door. They were still embracing, with Gwen facing away from me and Elvis motioning wildly behind Gwen’s back for me to get out.
I exited the bathroom, tiptoeing across the hotel room, every step causing water to squish in my shoes. Elvis started talking loudly, most likely trying to mask any noises of my departure.