Page 94 of No Vow Broken

Maybe what I really needed was a guardian angel to counter my little black cloud. Then again, maybe I already had one. Wasn’t it Hands who’d implied I was lucky to even be here today to get married?

He wasn’t wrong about that.

My brain was too tired to properly analyze the ramifications of the metaphysical status of a guardian angel and whether she would, or could, manifest on my behalf. After all, taking on my little black cloud would be no small feat. I just hope the cloud was finally worn out from all the excitement of the week.

At this point, the night before our wedding, all I wanted was some alone time with Slash and no more drama.

FORTY-NINE

Slash

There was something about meeting with the pope that always cleansed my heart and cleared my head. His words were supportive and positive, as they should be, but there was also a message in them directed at me, and I knew it.

It was time for me to make peace with my past so I could focus on my future. I’d been planning on dealing with an important part of my past solo after speaking to Father Armando earlier in the week, but the Holy Father had gently, and rightfully, reminded me tonight that Lexi and I were a team now. My past and future were intertwined with hers, so tonight I’d invite her to come with me as I tried to move forward.

I loosened my tie and reached beneath my shirt to touch my father’s cross for the courage to make the right decision and say the right things.

I made sure that we were the last to leave the dinner, and as we walked out of the room, I took Lexi’s hand in mine, squeezing lightly.

“Thoughts on how dinner went?” I asked her.

“It was really nice,” she said. “My mother was deliriously happy, thanks to you seating her next to the Holy Father. I’ll owe you until the end of my life.”

I smiled. “I’m glad she enjoyed the opportunity, and if I’m not mistaken, the Holy Father seemed quite impressed by your mother’s intellect and thoughtful insights.”

“It is kind of embarrassing I never realized how smart she is.”

“Sometimes we only see the things we want to project onto others.” There must have been a slight catch in my voice, because she looked at me curiously. I could never get anything past her.

“I guess sometimes we do,” she said, not pressing further.

We walked a bit more before I asked, “Would you mind stopping in the bar for a nightcap before we go upstairs?”

It was an unusual request, so she threw me a puzzled glance. “You wouldn’t rather have room service bring us something?”

I knew she was tired, very tired, but it was important I offer to include her in this. If she decided to decline my invitation, I was okay with that. The invitation had been made. “Honestly, I’d rather snuggle with you in bed and have room service bring us a nice bottle of pinot noir so we could relax and enjoy its high levels of melatonin, antioxidants, and anti-inflammatory properties. But I need to meet someone in the bar instead, and I’d like you to join me, if you’re willing.”

She stopped and stared at me. “Slash? Who could you possibly need to meet with the night before our wedding?”

I exhaled a heavy breath. “Lilith.”

The look on her face indicated I’d completely taken her by surprise. “Your birth mother?”

“Yes.” I let go of her hand and leaned back against the wall, shoving my hand through my hair. “I didn’t bring it up earlier because I’d told you I’d made peace with the fact that I wasn’t going to invite her to our wedding. But Father Armando listened to my confession this week, and something he said made me reconsider.”

She was watching me intently. “Which was?”

“He said when we’re struck with deep emotional wounds, we can consciously, or unconsciously, carry the anger and hurt inside us forever, where it slowly festers. We can ignore it or convince ourselves it doesn’t matter, but those wounds will not heal without one thing—forgiveness. The fact that Lilith abandoned me at Father Armando’s church when I was just a few days old is less about me and more about her and her circumstances. I’ve let my anger form a judgment against her, and that isn’t fair.”

“So, you invited her here to the hotel to talk?”

“Yes. I texted her on Wednesday to see if she was available and able to drive here, since she lives not too far away. I was going to tell you, but given all the attacks and stressful moments, it never seemed like the right time. Now, she’s here, and I haven’t given you any time to mentally prepare. I apologize for that.”

“It’s okay, Slash. You don’t have to apologize to me. You’re the one who has to be mentally prepared. Are you?”

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know.”

She sighed and leaned against the wall so our arms touched. “What are you going to do?”

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