Page 45 of No Escape

“Hey,” Oscar said, stepping forward to defend his stepson’s honor. “Romeo would never hit a woman.”

“What? I exclaimed in horror, peering over Slash’s shoulder. “No, Dad, no. Slash isn’t hurting me at all. You’ve got it all wrong.”

Thankfully, at that moment, my mom, social hostess of the year, broke the tension. “Gentlemen, take the testosterone down a notch. Can’t you see Slash is trying to protect her honor?” She knelt beside me and Slash. “What happened, honey? A spider? You’re white as a sheet. Let me take a look.”

She unwrapped a silk scarf from her neck and draped it over Slash’s shoulder. Then, before I could say anything, she reached between Slash and me, groping around for a nonexistent spider bite on my body.

OMG.

I wanted to die of sheer mortification. I was lying mostly naked beneath Slash in front of my in-laws, whom I’d just met. And poor Slash. I’m certain he never wanted to be this close to his mother-in-law with her hand blindly fumbling God knew where between our bodies.

“Mom,” I managed to get out. “No spiders. I’m okay.”

Slash tried to keep stoic and silent even as my mom pulled her hand out from between us, retrieving her scarf and straightening. “If you’re sure you’re okay, honey, we’ll leave you two alone to do…whatever it is you’re doing. Come on, Winston. Stop glaring at Slash, because clearly this isn’t his fault.”

They went back into their room, my mom pulling Dad with her. He looked reluctant to leave. I couldn’t imagine what their conversation would be after seeing us like this.

Unfortunately, instead of leaving like my parents had, Oscar peered down at us. “I didn’t scare you that badly, did I, Lexi? Are you sure you’re okay?”

OMG. How was that even a question? Obviously, I wasnotokay. Not now, not in any universe, notever. I might even have to consider moving to the moon on the next commercial flight. I honestly didn’t think there wasanythingI could say in such a situation even if I googled it for the next six years.

Still, I hoped I hadn’t given Oscar the impression I hadn’t enjoyed his company, because I had. Just not the part where he’d decided to become Bee Man. However, to admit now that I was scared to death of bees after braving a viewing of a hive, and pretending I wasn’t, would expose me as fake.

What in the world had I been thinking? I should have been honest from the start about my fear of bees. I was a complete idiot. How much worse could I screw this situation up?

I drew in a deep breath. “Oscar, I… I thought I saw a—”

“Scorpion,” Slash smoothly interjected. “She thought there was a scorpion in our bed and ran out of the room. I tried to catch her, but my feet got tangled and we ended up here.”

I just stared at him. It was one of the nicest things he’d ever done for me, even though I couldn’t ever imagine Slash getting his feet tangled up. Still, I almost dropped my hands from my boobs to kiss him.

“Come on, Oscar,” Juliette said gently, tugging on her husband’s arm, clearly embarrassed for us. “Leave the children alone. They’re fine.”

Oscar didn’t respond, but he did give me one last worried glance over his shoulder.

As soon as their door closed, Slash got to his feet, hauling me up and into our room. He shut the door firmly and leaned back against it.

“Where exactly did you and Oscar go after lunch?” he asked.

I sighed and snatched a folded blanket from the foot of the bed, wrapping myself in it. I wasn’t going to have this conversation while dressed only in my undies. “Last night at dinner, Oscar told me about his hobby tending beehives. Since I was following guideline number three on my spreadsheet—learning the hobbies and interests of your in-laws—I asked him several questions. As a result of that, Oscarmayhave perceived that I’m genuinely interested in bees, which, in fact, is true, but only in a theoretical sense.”

Slash crossed his arms against his chest. “Go on.”

“Well, today at lunch, Oscar said he’d noticed an apiary on the castle grounds after we’d completed the maze challenge. He invited me to check it out, and since I couldn’t think of a good reason to decline, I said…yes.”

“Although you’re terrified of bees.”

“Yes, Slash, although I’m terrified of bees.” I glared at him. Had he heard nothing I’d told him about the spreadsheet and the important guidelines? “I was trying to follow guideline number one: Accept an invitation to do something with your in-laws even if it’s out of your comfort zone. Obviously, that waswayout of my comfort zone. But I really like Oscar, and I wanted to show my eagerness to integrate into your family.”

“And by doing so, you violated rule number four: Be yourself.”

I sat down on the bed, dejected. “I know. But I didn’t expect him to cover himself in bees. I thought the bees were killing him, so that’s why I brained him with a branch.”

“You…hitOscar?”

“That wasn’t exactly the plan, but I wanted to get the bees off. I dropped the branch by accident, whacking him in the head. At least it worked, because the cloud of bees rose off him as soon as I hit him. But then he was on the ground and bleeding, and I thought they were coming after me, so I ran.”

“You hit Oscar and ran?”

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