Page 99 of No Questions Asked

He hopped out of the jeep with Gabriel and headed toward the lab when Lilith intercepted him. “Excuse me, Slash. May I have a word with you?”

He was itching to see where Lexi had gone with the material he’d sent regarding the Indian hackers, but he couldn’t see a way to get out of speaking to her. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Would you mind walking with me for a moment?”

The research camp, with its barrack-like structures, roving guards and barbed wire fence, was hardly the place for a stroll, but he accommodated her. They strolled along for a minute before she spoke.

“This is going to be terribly awkward, but I’d like to speak with you about something personal.”

“Okay.”

It took two revolutions around the camp before she spoke again. “The decisions we make when we are young can have a lifetime effect on ourselves and others—others who are innocent, and don’t have a choice in the matter. I made a decision that directly impactedyourlife’s trajectory, Slash. I want to start this conversation by saying I’m sorry, and every day I wish I could change the past.”

He stopped, turning to look at directly her. “Hello, Mother.”

The look on her face was one he’d never forget for as long as he lived. Shock, disbelief, anguish, and shame chased across her face. She pressed a hand to her breast, gasping as if he’d hit her in the stomach. “You knew?”

He’d wondered if she’d ever acknowledge his existence, and in return, he considered what he’d say to her if they were to ever discuss his birth. In fact, this scene had played out in his head dozens of times, in a variety of different ways. But now that the moment had arrived, he had no idea how the conversation would go. But he would start, because he was entitled to that.

“Lilith Imogen Burbridge, born in Baltimore, Maryland, on the twentieth of October to Addison Burbridge, a physician, and his wife, Isabella, a fascinating scientist and inventor in her own right. You attended Johns Hopkins University, graduating with a degree in biochemistry. You spent a year in Rome, studying biochemistry at Sapienza University with your lifelong friend Natelli Sherwood. Eventually, you received an MBA, and later a PhD in cellular biology, both of those at Johns Hopkins as well. You accomplished all of this by the age of twenty-six, which is quite impressive. You worked for several years at the Food and Drug Administration, reviewing and making recommendations regarding clinical trials, and assessing the safety and efficacy of vaccines. At thirty-five, you began working for a nonprofit start-up World Vaccines, developing vaccines for impoverished countries. You became a superstar at the company, engineering several revolutionary biochemical concepts that would eventually pave the way for a much-needed malaria vaccine that could save millions of lives, most of them children. You eventually founded your own company, Vaccitex, with your childhood friend and multimillionaire businessman Hayden Pogue, with whom you lived for some time, but never married. You’ve spent your life’s work focused on saving children. I read in one article about you, that you considered saving children an obsession. Which is interesting, given you have noknownchildren of your own.”

He left it at that, annoyed at himself for letting the hurt creep into his voice. When he’d said it in his head, his voice had been cool and dispassionate. He hadn’t expected this conversation to affect him this deeply. He’d told himself a thousand times it didn’t matter if she ever acknowledged him or not, and he’d believed it, but here he was suddenly fighting to keep his emotions under wrap.

Lilith managed to collect herself and began to walk again. He matched her stride, remaining silent, waiting to hear what came next.

“How did you know?” she finally asked.

“I saw you coming out of Father Armando’s office several months ago when I was in Italy. Then, when you arrived here at the camp a few days ago and I saw you in person for the first time, I remembered your face...and your eyes. You were crying that day. I wondered how the CEO of Vaccitex knew Father Armando. At first, it never crossed my mind that you might be my biological mother. I was simply curious at the connection, thinking the Vatican supported your admirable effort. However, the more I learned about you, and the unusual way your life seemed to intertwine with mine, the easier it was for me to piece things together. Especially since I’d recently discovered the identity of my father and knew my mother was still alive.”

“Why didn’t you say anything to me before?” She spoke so softly he could hardly hear her.

“Because I was more concerned about finding and rescuing the woman I loved than making contact with a woman who perhaps never intended to tell me she was my biological mother. If you hadn’t come to me, I wouldn’t have come to you, Lilith. We could have maintained a professional relationship all of our lives, and that would have been fine with me. Apparently, that’s the way you wanted it, so I would have respected that.”

His words hurt her, he could tell. He wasn’t handling this as well as he would have liked, but every word she said to him was like a knife in the heart. He hadn’t expected this level of grief and pain.

She lifted a trembling hand to her hair, pushing it away from her face. “Actually, I’ve wanted to tell you all of my life. But I didn’t feel as if I deserved that opportunity, and even if I did, how could I tell you? How do I face the child, who’s now a man, and explain that even though I gave you up for adoption, I’ve never forgotten you? How do I explain the depths of my love for someone I only knew for nine months and three days? The truth is, I love you today as much as I loved you the day you were born and nestled at my breast. Here we stand—two people who once shared the most intimate connections of life through an umbilical cord—and yet we’re strangers. Would you believe you’re in my thoughts and prayers every single night?”

A hard twist yanked at his heart, but he worked to keep his face impassive, his emotions under control. He said nothing.

“You probably wonder why I gave you up for adoption if I loved you so much, but the truth is, the day I handed you over to Father Armando was the saddest day of my life. Father Armando told me he explained to you how your father and I loved each other deeply, but he could not balance that love for me and his love for the church. He made his choice, and it was not me. I was young, a student in a foreign country, and had parents who would not have approved of my pregnancy nor permitted me to keep a baby. But I want you to know you were conceived in love.Somuch love.” Emotion caught in her throat and she paused for a moment to compose herself.

“A storm was coming when I sat in the back of a taxi that drove me to the church in San Mauro Cilento. The sky thundered ominously and raindrops had started to patter against the car window. I covered your head with the blanket when I left the taxi to make sure you didn’t get wet. When I approached the church, I stopped when I saw a single white lily growing near the doorway, stretching up to the sky and lifting its petals as if to welcome the rain. I believed the lily was a sign, just for me, Lilith, to share a last moment of beauty with my newborn son. I lifted the blanket as the rain fell gently and showed it to you. Your eyes opened wide and they looked at the flower and then at me. Moments later, I walked through the door of the church and handed you over to Father Armando. To this day, I cannot see a white lily without thinking of that moment.”

He closed his eyes, picturing the two of them on the steps of the church, and his breath caught in his throat.

“I’m so sorry for giving you up,” she said softly. “I’ve wanted to reach out to you since the day I handed you over. But I felt I had no right, that I didn’t deserve to be in your life. I’ve followed your studies and careers as much as I’ve been able to over the years. Father Armando helped me with that, thank God.”

“Then you know I almost joined the priesthood.”

“I knew, and it was somewhat shocking seeing as how you’d never even known your father. I’m certain he’s been watching over you, filling you with his love.”

He had so many questions and wanted to ask them all...and none. But one was important to him. “Was it you who got me the job at the NSA?”

“Absolutely not. You’re a brilliant man. You’ve earned every single thing you’ve received. That being said, I admit to putting in a good word for you with the Deputy Director, who was at the time a close friend of mine. I also provided him with your birth certificate and encouraged him to review your résumé. In spite of that, I don’t think it was my recommendation that swayed him. He was quite impressed by your own credentials and certainly the personal intervention of the pope on your behalf.”

Conflicted feelings continued to sweep through him, emotions he didn’t want to unpack and examine while his birth mother stood in front of him. What he wanted,needed, was the one woman he considered his rock—his wife. He wished she were here with him now.

He forced back the emotions and swept out a hand to encompass the research center. “So, what about this project and Vaccitex? Did you bring Lexi on board because you wanted to check her out? Did you know I’d come along?”

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