Page 38 of Take Me to the Wedding

She gave a tight smile. “It was definitely… challenging.”

The first year of med school had hit me harder than a solid brick wall. To say that I’d been overwhelmed was an understatement. “I couldn’t find balance at all that year,” I said, “and I know you suffered for it.”

“Caleb, you always give one hundred percent plus. The problem was that when we were together, there wasn’t any percent left for me.”

Across the way, Sam was quietly reading. I wished I was reading too instead of fielding these hard issues. Except who would suddenly show up there but Quinn, who flopped himself right down on the grass beside her. She promptly sat up. I felt annoyed at him for no reason. How about leaving her alone so she could enjoy that book? How about getting the hintperiod?

Why was I thinking this in the middle of a discussion I’d longed to have for years?

“I love my job,” Lilly said. “I’m very passionate about it. I have so many ideas. Maybe getting to where I am wasn’t as hard as med school, but I want to find an equal partner who respects my career too.”

“I’ve always respected you,” I said. “I admire what you’ve done to your family’s business.”

“When we were together, it was all about you.”

I flinched. I knew I had to do better, be more honest. Admit the truth, which was hard for me. I often saw the glass as half full, even in retrospect. I knew that I tended to minimize my vulnerabilities, and maybe if I hadn’t, we might’ve made it. “That first year, it was all I could do to keep my head above the water. The workload was beyond anything I could imagine. I was terrified I wasn’t going to make it.”

“You did make it,” she said in an even tone. “With flying colors. Butwedidn’t.”

Through the trees, Quinn had picked up Sam’s book. Sam had moved to the far end of her chair, away from him. Judging by her body language, she wanted him to leave. Who does that, parks himself next to a woman when he’s not even invited? A strange, protective urge came over me.

“Caleb?”

I faced her. “Look, in retrospect, I didn’t know who I was or what I was capable of. I’m so proud of you, Lilly. I’m sorry for the pain.”

She stared at me. I knew her well, and I could see a struggle going on inside her. “I’m glad we had this chance to talk.”

“Me too.”

Lilly got up from the bench. “See you at dinner, okay?” After she tossed her art stuff into a canvas bag, slung it over her shoulder, and left, I sat there for a minute, thinking. Carefully rehashing our past as I’d done so many times. I had great memories of our close moments, our romantic moments, and not so many of the arguments we’d had—like, the blowups over whose family to have dinner with on a rare day off, or the fact that I always seemed to be studying, or the times when she felt isolated and lonely and my exhaustion and stress had made me less sensitive of her.

Across the way, Sam got up and went inside the cabin, leaving Quinn to do whatever it was Quinn did. In this case, he found the trail. I could see through the trees that he was traveling all the way around the lake, headed back to our cabin. I was strangely relieved that he’d left Sam alone.

I should’ve come away from this discussion with clarity, but I felt more confused than ever. I mean, I was glad we’d talked honestly. It helped the wounds to heal.

But I didn’t feel… invested.

Or attracted.

I wasn’t pining for her. I wasn’t wanting… more.

I was thinking more about the complicated woman who’d just done everything she could to get me what I wanted.

I just wasn’t sure it—rather, Lilly—was what I wanted anymore.

I felt like my chapter with Lilly was finally ending, not beginning.

* * *

Samantha

I tried to sit out in the sun for a while to calm down after that stupid, horrible matchmaking test, but Quinn came out of nowhere like a puppy dog and literally wouldn’t leave until I confessed to having a whopping migraine.

That wasn’t far off. He was giving me a pain in my head, my brain, my stomach, but most of all, in my butt.

I hated having to tell guys I wasn’t interested, something I’d done a lot. Except this was extra tricky because I’d have to see Quinn for more events before the wedding. So what were my choices? Oh, I didn’t have many.

I hadn’t lied about my head—it was throbbing from stress. And it was all Caleb’s fault. I put myself on the line for him. Going around touching people’s shoulders and mumbling things about eagles and ducks.

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