Page 37 of Take Me to the Wedding

Too late to worry about it. Belief had to be suspended as she touched Lilly’s shoulder too and masked this by nodding toward the pond and saying, “Will you look at that? A mama duck trailed by a million babies. How many are there?”

She managed to sound genuinely amazed. I thought about how she said that growing up, she hadn’t had wild, untamed spaces to run free in as I had. She seemed truly awed by nature.

“Camp Rockbottom,” Lilly said, clapping her hands together, “that’s what we called it. But what was its real name?” I couldn’t remember, because my mind had gone blank. Sam’s hand rested gently on my shoulder and upper arm. I felt her warmth. The soft but steady pressure as I sat frozen, holding my breath.

“I know!” Lilly said. “Camp Rockymount!”

“Right, right,” I said absently.

Whatever Sam was doing was nonsense, I knew that.

But her touch held me spellbound. Made me want more.

She lifted her hands off but then replaced them, as if she was repeating the process. “Is that an eagle high in that tree? And is that a nest?”

I bit down on my cheek so as not to smile. I suddenly wanted to take her all around this farm and show her all the wonders being in the country had in store—hawks and herons, monarchs and geese, and even the chickens.

The hand came down again. A third time? How many times did it take? I didn’t believe in it, but I had to admit that I hoped it would yield a magic solution to all my confusion.

What if it said that Lilly was my one and true soulmate? That was what I wanted, right?

Sam withdrew her hands and gave an exaggerated yawn. “Okay you two,” she said, giving both out shoulders a squeeze, “I’m going to take a rest before dinner. See you all later!”

Once she left, I decided to figure out once and for all if Lilly and I had a shot. “You haven’t changed. You still love to sketch flowers.”

“Caleb, Ihavechanged a lot.” She assessed me carefully, her expression unreadable. “But yes, I still love to draw flowers.” She smiled. “That wasn’t a slap-down. You just remember things in a certain romantic way. But neither of us is the same.”

I rubbed my neck and found that I was sweating. “I just meant that your artistic spirit is the same. Your love of flowers.” I sounded ridiculous. But I was trying.

She set down her tablet. “Okay. I accept that. Sam just went through that whole hospital gossip thing and said the same thing you did. So no worries there, okay?”

Okay, great. “So… we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah. We’re friends.”

And then I paused. Blew out a breath. Now was my chance to say more. But I didn’t—couldn’t—say “I want another chance,” or “Let’s try again.” Or even, “Do you want to go out sometime?”

We fell into silence. Still, I hesitated.

Inside, I was a little panicked. Sam was in my head—dancing with my mom, wearing my lucky sweatshirt, doing her hocus-pocus and telling Lilly the truth to help me.

And then suddenly I looked across the pond, and there she was. I could barely see her through some trees, sitting on a lounge chair, reading a book in the side yard of the women’s cabin.

“What’s your book?” Lilly finally asked me.

I picked it up and looked at the dark cover with bold gold lettering and a scrolled border. “It’s this cool story about four friends who get stuck in this dystopian universe and can’t get back to their own, and these evil beings who are taking over the world and the friends have to stop them. But it’s much more than just sci-fi. It brings up all kind of important issues like taking care of our world, getting rid of waste, conserving resources…”

She laughed.

“Sorry. I guess I get a little excited.” Lilly had never gotten my thrill of reading a great book and then wanting to tell everyone I met about it.

She smiled. Maybe a little wisely. “You always wanted to save the world. I just wanted to draw flowers.”

I shrugged, but inside, I felt like a bomb had dropped. I think she’d pretty much summed up our entire relationship right there—and not in a good way. I was always pushing, never accepting defeat. I was practical, she was whimsical.

Also, she wasn’t into aliens or heavy book discussions. I’d have to save that for my bros in book club.

I thought about Sam’s matchmaking advice. That couples trying to get back together have to fix what happened in the past. I knew I had to attempt that by saying something difficult that I’d said in my head hundreds of times. “Lilly, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about the way things ended between us. I had no idea how difficult that year was going to be for either of us.”

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