Page 15 of Take Me Home for Christmas

“Saturday afternoon it is.” She looked both relieved and worried, skeptical and accepting of something over which she had very little choice. Her face was like an emotional map, with every feeling flickering across it—all of which I could read too well. I smiled encouragingly, to let her know I had this. Then I held out my hand. “Shake?”

She looked at me like I’d lost touch with reality. After all, it was a whiteout and we were shivering. She lightly tapped my hand, didn’t shake it, as if that was all she could bear to do—as if the thought of taking me was so unpleasant, she could barely stand it. Then she turned to head back to the ward.

I grasped her hand before she could get away. She looked startled, like my hand was a giant alligator that had just clamped down for a tasty chomp. As for me, I was feeling a lot of things I couldn’t even process. Like how in awe of her I was that she would love her family so much to do something so obviously distasteful. “Look, there’s no reason for this to be awkward. We’re over what was between us.” Weren’t we?

Then suddenly, she gripped my hand quite solidly. She looked me directly in the eye and spoke in her senior resident voice. “My only concern is my mother. Your ego is larger than I thought if you’re still worried about something that happened six months ago.”

Then she dropped her hand. “See you at three on Saturday.”

I nodded, chastened. She hadn’t been obsessing over our old relationship. This was all about her mom. “I’ll pick you up,” I called as she left.

I came in from the cold, stood in the hallway, and pulled out my phone. “Jenna?” I said when my sister answered.

“Braxy! Guess where I am?” She only called me that ridiculous name when she was really excited, and I could tell that she was.

“Where are you?” I rubbed my arms, hoping to get some feeling back after being outside for so long. I shook the layer of snowflakes off my now-wet hair.

“In my ob/gyn’s parking lot,” Jenna said. “Aiden and I just came from our ultrasound. It’s a girl!”

“It’s a girl,” I repeated, letting the fact sink in that my baby sister was having a baby. Which I already knew, but honestly,it still hadn’t really taken hold in my brain. “Jenna, I—wow. I mean, congratulations.”

“Aiden just left for the office. As soon as I get back to work, I’ll send you pictures. Everything’s looking great and…and she’s so amazing!”

I chuckled at the fact that she was obviously in total and complete love. “I’m really happy for you two.” And relieved, from a doctor’s point of view, that all was well.

I could hear rain pattering on her windshield. At least it wasn’t blizzarding in Philly like it was in Madison. “So when are you getting here?” she asked.

I hesitated. Despite everything Jenna and I had been through, we’d never spent a holiday apart. “That’s what I was calling to tell you…something came up.”

“Work?” I heard the disappointment in her voice. “Please don’t tell me you’re taking extra call for somebody again.”

“No, nothing like that.” I took a breath while I figured out what to say. “I’m going to go home with a friend who needs some help.”

Silence now filled the formerly chatty space. “A friend?” Jenna finally asked.

“Yes, a friend,” I said carefully. That was all I was going to say. I mean, there wasn’t that much more to it, was there? Okay, maybe there was. But I wasn’t about to discuss it now with my baby sister.

Who turned out to be relentless. “Okay, I have one question. Is your friend a woman?”

I sighed, wondering if I could make my beeper go off so I could escape the rest of this conversation. “Yes, but it’s not what you think?—”

“Okay, let me get this straight,” she interrupted. “You’re going to help a ‘friend’ by going to her house for Christmas.”

“Yes.”

“And that’s all you’re telling me.”

I considered that. “For now, yes.”

“Well, okay, then. I’ll accept thatfor now. But I’ll miss you terribly.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Could I hang up now before I confessed too much?

“But promise me something.”

I braced myself for what I knew was coming. She was the younger one, but so much wiser. “You believe in yourself in so many ways, but you never give yourself a chance in relationships.” Her voice cracked. “Maybe it’s time for you to recognize the gem that you are.”

“Hey, I’m the big brother,” I said weakly. “I give the advice, right?”

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