Page 67 of Take Me Home for Christmas

Yeah. Pretty messed up, wasn’t it? “One of the men in the pediatric group in Milwaukee I applied to told Brax under the table that the job would likely be his. And Brax didn’t tell me.”

“That’s how the best group in town behaves?” My dad took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is Brax going to take the job?”

“Of course he is. His mentor was a founding member. He was the whole reason Brax became a doctor in the first place.”

My dad had just implied something important and true. This truly wasn’t wasn’t how the best group in town should behave. Its actions were more akin to behavior for theworstgroup. Why had it even been in the running for me?

My dad let out a big sigh, like he was still trying to wrap his head around everything but not quite able. “With all this going on, why on earth did you bring him here?”

I swallowed hard. “Well, I…” I had to collect my thoughts. I wanted to say that I’d done it to keep my mom’s spirit up at a tough time. That was true, but it was also flawed. At that moment, I realized I should have given my mom more credit.

My mom, who had been there for all my troubles my entire life. Who had withstood the death of a child. Who had survived cancer.

How could I possibly have thought that my silly breakup could devastate her?

And something else too. I hadn’t been able to come clean and admit that things hadn’t worked out.

So much of this was me doing what I always did—pretending that I didn’t have troubles or problems. Hiding my struggles to not create waves, because I didn’t want to disappoint. After what had happened in our family with Grace, I’d become really good at minimizing my own difficulties.

“I know why Mia did it,” my mom said from the doorway. “I know you did it for me, sweetheart.” As she came in, Liam, Dina, and Caleb followed, all in their robes and pj’s.

My mom and dad eyed each other with the expressions of two people who’d been married a long time and had seen a lot. I didn’t want to see their concerned faces.

“Braxton does not think of you as a friend,” my mom said. I looked up in surprise. Because what she hadn’t said wasI’m so disappointed in you.

I looked at my mother, whom I loved so much. Whom I never wanted to hurt. Whom I’d concocted this whole scheme for, which had only really ended up hurting me.

I stood up. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”

She got a little teary. “Oh, baby.” She wrapped me up in a hug. Which reassured me that the stupid thing I’d done was…okay. That I’d been forgiven, just like that.

“You know,” she said, examining my face. And by this time, I was crying too. “You don’t always have to shoulder all the burdens of our family by yourself.”

“I wasn’t doing that,” I said. But I was, wasn’t I?

“You felt responsible for my happiness,” my mom said.

“She’s right,” Caleb said. “Ever since Grace died, I think we’ve all tried to tread a little lightly with all our problems for Mom and Dad’s sake.”

My mom threw up her hands. “You people! Do you not think we know stuff anyway? If you don’t let us in on what’s going on with you, we imagine the worst.”

I looked around at my family, all sitting raggedly at the table having this brutal discussion without coffee, this early in the morning. “I should have told you the truth,” I said to my mom. “Initially I used the stories to lift your spirits during chemo. But then I was afraid to confess because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

“I know you love me,” she said. “But give me more credit.”

“I’m really sorry,” I said.

“We liked Brax,” Liam said after a while.

Caleb made a deep frown. “But he hurt Mia.” He flashed me an I-told-you-so look that I did my best to ignore.

My dad hugged me. “Honey, we’re sorry about the misunderstanding, but we’re always proud of you. No matter what.”

My mom nodded. “So proud.”

Had I actually forgotten they’d love me no matter how badly I messed up?

“Maybe Brax just needs time to think,” Dina said. “He seems like a good guy.”

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