Page 16 of Can't Miss Christmas

“I didn’t think you cared. You were spending more and more time with your business. It seemed to me like just when I finally started working again, you were trying to keep my career down.”

“I’ve always been proud of what you accomplished. But I felt you used your work to push me away. I was hurting too, Grace. It wasn’t just you.”

She shook her head. Graham knew her too well, flaws and raw edges. He was right when he said she’d gotten swept away by her work. It had saved her from despair. Trouble was, she’d lost herself in it. She hadn’t comforted him—she’d been hurting so badly herself. “We made horrible mistakes.”

“We didn’t understand how to comfort each other. But we can learn.”

“We both moved on with other people.”

“No, Grace. I still love you. I’ll always love you. I started to say that before the deer hit.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. Of course he loved her. She felt that down to her marrow. She missed him, she missed what they had together. But was that enough to protect them from hurting each other again? It hadn’t been the first time. Now he was standing there, his eyes filled with emotion. Silently pleading with her to take the leap. All she had to do was put her trust in him. But how could she, when she’d nearly been destroyed the first time around? “I love you too, Graham,” she said softly, but shook her head.

His face fell. The hope in his eyes shattered, and she winced. “What is it?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I survived the pain of our baby dying, and the pain of losing you. But I can’t put myself in a position to make the same mistakes again.” It had nearly destroyed her. She’d survived by being tough, by distracting herself with her work. Now that she was finally living her life again, how could she risk going there again?

“Don’t, Grace.” He grabbed her again by the shoulders. “Don’t be afraid to fall. I’d catch you, you know. This time I would.”

She reached over and kissed him. A firm, quick press on the lips. “Your family is waiting for you.” Her voice cracked. Oh God. He needed to get on that bus and leave before she completely lost it.

“Don’t do this,” he said. “Come with me. What we have is worth another chance.”

But she turned and looked out the window at the peaceful winter scene below. The world continued, people with shopping bags strolling past quaint shops, cars rolling along toward home as the work day ended.

“What will you do alone here?” His voice, tight and controlled, as if he’d forced it through gritted teeth, came to her from the open doorway.

“I’ll go to that place—the Irish pub. Where the locals go. I’ll be fine.” She had no intention of doing that, but it had been the first thing to pop into her head. At this point, she’d say anything to get him to go.

He was silent for a long time. Panic seized up inside her. She was terrified to move. If she turned around, he would see everything on her face—her doubt, her confusion, her anguish.

Maybe she could explain. She turned around—just in time to see the door shut. The soft click resonated in the big ceilinged room. He was gone.

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