Page 56 of This Loving Feeling (Mirror Lake)

The table went silent.

“You’ve got a lot of common sense, honey,” Olivia said. “We trust your judgment.”

“Exactly,” Alex agreed. “But you should know it’s okay if it doesn’t work out, right?”

“Of course.” Sam dug some money out of her purse and put it on the table. “Thanks for the company. I’ve got to be going.”

She’d made it almost to the door when someone grabbed her elbow. It was Meg.

“Where are you going now?” she asked.

Sam closed her eyes. Driving to Boston was out of the question. She was tired and upset and she’d just downed a giant drink. Going back home ... dangerous because Lukas would be one hundred feet away in the guesthouse. She really didn’t have any clue what to do.

“We all love you, Sam. We want you to be happy. And you don’t look happy right now.”

Tears suddenly sprung up behind her eyes. It was that damn kind tone. That caring that got her. In another minute she’d be bawling in the aisle. She had to toughen up. “Look, Meg, you’re not my mom. I can make my own decisions.”

Meg frowned. Sam immediately felt bad for being edgy with her, but Meg seemed unabashed. “I’m not trying to mother you.” She paused. “Well, yes I am. I care about you. We all do. Did ... did something happen between you and Lukas?”

“He kissed me,” she blurted.

“On the lips?”

Sam swiped at her eyes. “Of course on the lips. Several times in a row and I—I didn’t stop him. I stood there and ...”

One of Meg’s fine dark brows raised. “Enjoyed it?”

Sam shook her head. “Everything in my life has become a mess since he’s come to town. How could I have let this happen? I’ve learned nothing. I’m still the stupid infatuated girl, going after the gorgeous but irresponsible guy. And this time it’s going to ruin my life.”

Meg pulled her into a hug. “Stay at our place tonight, okay? Come home with me.”

Sam nodded and promised she’d wait until Meg settled up her part of the bill. In the little alcove near the exit, there was a large antique mirror mounted to the wall. Sam knew she shouldn’t have looked, but she did. The woman staring back looked sad and stressed. Diminished somehow. The glass was wavy and there was some distortion, but even so, Sam didn’t recognize her reflection. She wasn’t sure who she was anymore. Nothing in her life seemed to fit. Her entire life view had been disrupted by Lukas’s arrival.

Which was a shame. Because he had come and gone too many times, pulling her in with tidal-wave force and causing a tsunami’s worth of wreckage everywhere. You’d think she’d have learned her lesson. This time, she was fairly certain her heart simply couldn’t sustain any more breaks.

Why would she ever want someone who made her feel like nothing in her life fit anymore?

She’d clung to Harris for so long as her anchor of stability. He was cute, Ivy League educated, and going places. That had pleased her family and given her a respectable standing far from the lonely, on-the-fringes one she’d had in high school.

But maybe she’d clung to him like a crutch. Maybe she loved the idea of him more than she loved him for himself. She’d poked fun at Jess for relying on guys too much. Maybe she was just as guilty, but in a different way. And maybe it was time she started relying on herself.

Monday-morning sun streamed into the art room, lifting Sam’s mood a little. The familiar smell of paint and paper soothed her, too. Art always calmed her, even though she was still upset about Lukas and that kiss, and she still had no idea what she was going to do about Harris. And she’d had to share a bed last night with Meg’s one-hundred-fifty-pound Saint Bernard.

As she set up her paints and prepared a place for Effie to sit, Effie wandered around, looking at all the students’ projects Sam had hung up all over the room.

Joe Malone popped his head in. “Good morning, Sam. Morning, Effie. Glad to see so many of you teachers here closing their rooms up for the summer.”

Or forever, Sam thought, looking dismally around her beloved classroom. Maybe it had been a bad idea to bring Effie here today to try and finish up her portrait. Sam was feeling too emotional. And confused.

As if sensing her thoughts, Joe gave a knowing little smile. “You know, your job’s still open. But it’ll be posted within the week. So if you’re having second thoughts, let me know soon.”

“Right. I will.” She managed a smile back.

“Well, got to be moving along. There’s a pot of coffee in the office if you want any.” With a wave, he was gone.

She just wanted to survive the day. That damn kiss had changed everything. Lukas couldn’t stay in her guesthouse. Or she couldn’t stay. He shouldn’t have done it. She shouldn’t havelethim. But man, was it amazing. Oh, she was a terrible person. Maybe she should—

Effie called her name, thank God, breaking her stream of panic. She was standing in front of an iconic charcoal drawing of Bruce Springsteen, done by Calvin, in fact. “My goodness, Samantha. The talent your students have. Except what’s this one?” She pointed to an abstract painting hanging next to Bruce. “It looks like a boob.” She tilted her head sideways to view it from a different angle.

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