Page 30 of This Loving Feeling (Mirror Lake)

“What do you mean he’s coming here? I thought you’d stopped seeing him a long time ago. Haven’t you met any nice guys in college? And what kind of name is ‘Spike’ anyway?” Definitely her older brother Brad.

“His name is Spikonos,” Sam said, “but you can call him Lukas.”

“I thought it was because of that stupid spiky hair of his.”

“I’m just asking you to be nice to him.”

“I can’t be nice to a guy who’s going nowhere, Sam. I honestly don’t know what you see in him. I thought we raised you better.”

She was crying. Because ofhim.He’d never be good enough, just as he hadn’t been good enough for every family looking to adopt who had passed him by. He was too old, too dark, too rebellious. And underneath it all, he was just too alone.

He tossed the flowers into the bushes and left. Her family was never going to accept him. She could do a lot better. He’d always known it was only a matter of time.

The next week, Mr.Clinker had a heart attack and decided to close the business. And Martha Ellis was diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, his world was in a tailspin.

And then Sam’s brother died.

A cold, terrible idea came to him. If he broke up with her, she’d hate him, but she’d heal. She’d have her family. She needed them, and he was only creating tension there. Someday he would leave town and figure out his life. Figure out how to become someone. But right now he would be there for Martha Ellis.

So he let Sam go. And he hadn’t had a day of peace since.

The next summer, Martha died and he had the near miss with the chicken truck. Sam had sat by his side until he was out of danger. The year had done nothing to stop his longing for her, but by then she’d met Harris. There was no way Lukas could compete with a guy like that, who was educated and rich—everything he wasn’t. He became consumed with the feeling that he had to get out, had to find his own life. Become something better than what his parents had become. In his heart, he knew that doing that in Mirror Lake was impossible. So he did what he did best: he left Sam behind for good.

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