Page 42 of Power Play

“Someone will be right in to take your order,” the bouncer says, then closes the door. And sure enough, a waitress, wearing nothing but a bra and a G-string, walks in a moment later with a pen and pad to take our drink order.

“And will you boys be interested in a dance tonight?” she asks, which is a bit of a silly question. I nod.

“Please,” I say, swallowing back the discomfort I’m feeling. I don’t want a dance. I don’t want to watch someone else unless it’s Lola Rae Calway. But I have to do this for her.

A girl comes in a few minutes later, and so do the drinks. I make sure to tell the waitress to keep them coming, and I watch as Thad’s eyelids get heavier and heavier. He starts to lean in his seat, and I know I’ve got him right where I want him. He claps his hands, running a hand over his mouth as he watches the dancer swirling around onstage, throwing pieces of clothing off as she moves.

“So you’re close with Coach Calway, right?” I ask him. He looks at me, his head bobbing up and down.

“Oh, dude,soclose,” he mumbles. “He’s like a father to me.”

I smile.

“You know his younger daughter? I think her name is…Lola?” I ask.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

lo

My shift yesterdayand today have both absolutely dragged, and I’m finding myself looking at the clock every single time I walk past it. Lunch yesterday was especially painful, having had a taste of him in the morning, then having to get my shit together enough to go to the restaurant and pick Harper up from daycare.

It was to crack myself out of the little dream I lived with Levi for twelve hours and get back to the real world. It was fun to have that life with him, even if it was just for a night. It felt so good to be held like that. To have his eyes on me like that, looking at me like he wanted to devour me, but also that fire in his eyes that said he’d kill anything or anyone else that tried.

I’ve never been looked at like that.

It’s been a fast twenty-two years, but it’s been a long twenty-two years. Becoming a mom has this crazy effect on your life, where it makes things drag but also steals time like a thief. You’re sleep-deprived with a newborn, and then you blink, and your kid is getting ready to start school, and you’re still trying to remember how you got here. How so much time passed without you feeling like you had enough of a moment to really revel in it. Motherhood is this constant battle between trying to hold on to the last pieces of yourself while also clinging desperately to the version of your child that exists today, knowing that it’ll be different tomorrow. You know you might lose yourself in it, but the time you have with them is so short.

Add on being a teen mom to that, and it makes things a little extra-complicated. My friends aren’t really around much anymore. They all graduated from their respective colleges last year, and they’re starting their jobs. They came to the shower my sister threw me, but it was mostly for the Instagram fame and being close to the scandal of knowing the senior that got knocked up. They took pictures with Harper when she was born, posted them to their pages, got the comments, and then disappeared off to school and to the lives of normal eighteen-year-olds.

I’ve had a few dates since Harper was born, been out with some of the other guys my age who hung around town rather than getting out. But at twenty-two, it’s not exactly a man-magnet to have a kid. It’s the same kind of deal as it was for my friends. They think it’s fun for a second, until I have to leave dinner because she got sick, or when I have to call her during a movie to say goodnight.

Then it becomes real.

So it’s easier to just stick to us. To my family. To the family that came from me.

I’m finally clocking out at Gary’s and walking out to my car when my phone rings. I put the phone between my ear and my shoulder and dig the keys out of my purse.

“Hey, Dem,” I say.

“You’re fucking Levi Buck?” she asks, and I almost drop my purse.Fucking Tyson.

“Oh, my—” I start to say, but she laughs.

“Yeah, Ty told me,” she says between cackles. “Good news travels fast.”

I get in my car and slam the door shut.

“Look, it’s not like that. He… It’s not like that,” I say, running a hand down my face.I am not ready for this.

“So…you’re not fucking him?” she asks. There’s a long pause. “I knew it.”

I sigh.

“Okay, we had sex once,” I say. “But…it’s just…it’s not like that. He wanted to tell Tyson. He said he didn’t want to sneak around. He wanted…”

“He wanted the cute twenty-something-year-old on his arm? I bet he did.”

Ouch.

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