Page 55 of Power Play

“I’m up anyway. I’m a morning person,” I say with a smile. “You need sleep. I’m here. We will stay right here in the yard.”

I half expect her to shoot me down immediately. Not because she doesn’t trust me, but because she doesn’t like handouts. She doesn’t want to be dead weight. She wants to carry her own.

“No, I can’t ask—”

"You didn’t,” I say, cutting her off. She pauses. Then she looks at me again.

“I can—”

“I know you can. But you don’thaveto, Lo.” I make sure Harper isn’t looking, and I tug her arm gently so she’s standing next to me. I press a kiss to her forehead. “If this was our house, I’d take you back in there. I’d pull down these cute little shorts you have on and remind you how much I love the taste of you. I’d wait until your legs were shaking and limp over my shoulders, and then I’d tuck you into bed and let you sleep for as long as you needed.”

She doesn’t say anything. She just swallows, her eyes like saucers. I smile.

“But since I can’t do all of that right now, I’ll settle for part of it. Please, Lo. Let me do this. Go rest.”

She turns to me, those big eyes looking right through me.

She doesn’t know how badly I could use the distraction right now. Thoughts of this game have had me up for weeks.

“I am so tired,” she whispers, and I realize that her eyes are filling with tears. I lift her hand to my lips and lay a soft kiss on her fingertips.

“Oh, baby,” I whisper back, “don’t you cry. Otherwise, I’m going to have to show that little girl what it looks like when her mom is loved.” It’s killing me not to hold her right now. It goes against every basic instinct I have not to scoop her up and cradle her.

She smiles and chokes back a soft sob. She quickly swipes away at the tears and nods slowly as Harper runs toward us. She bends down to her level and cups her little face in her hands.

“Sweetie girl,” she says. “I’m gonna go inside and rest for a little bit. Is it okay if you stay out here and play with Levi?” she asks, and I feel overwhelmed. I feel a little of that wall coming down. I feel her gripping onto me tighter.

Harper looks at Lo, then back to me, then back to Lo, and I hold my breath.

Come on, kid.

“Yeah. We can play gravel,” she says matter-of-factly. Then she turns on her little heel and runs toward the swing-set that’s out on the lawn. I look back at Lo and shrug.

“I gotta go play gravel,” I tell her with a smile. She smiles back as I kiss the top of her head. “Rest.”

“I brought some snacks out. They’re over there on the table. And she has her cup out there with her. I’ll be right inside if you need anything. And—”

“Rest.”

I watch her go into the house, and then I jog out to the playset with Harper. We play an intense game of gravel, and I impress myself with how I am able to make myself fit on the little lookout tower and down the slide. Then she says she wants to swing, and I grab the swing next to hers. I watch her pump her little legs in and out until she has some good momentum going. The breeze blows through her perfect little auburn curls, and I can’t help but be mesmerized by her.

“Thanks for letting me hang out with you today, Harper,” I say, smiling as I watch her.

“You’re welcome,” she says matter-of-factly.

I’m not saying I’m going to use my girlfriend’s kid for some intel, but I’m totally going to try and use my girlfriend’s kid for intel.

“Do you like when I come over, Harper?” I ask her. She nods.

“Yes,” she says.

“Does it make you happy?” I ask her.

She looks at me and smiles a big, cheesy smile.

“It makes mesohappy!” she says. I smile back.

“That’s good. Because it makes me so happy to come over and hang out with you and your mom.”

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