Page 54 of Power Play

I’ve had some dark times in my life, but this period—before I got back here—was arguably one of the darkest. I don’t talk about it much because people don’t have patience for it.

You’re still rich. You’re still famous. It could be worse.

Yeah, all that’s true. But it doesn’t make it suck less.

And when everything was happening, when the world went black around me, when I woke up in the hospital, there was no one there. And that was when it got really dark.

You really can have everything and still have nothing.

It wasn’t until the next morning, when I got my phone back and saw how many times Tyson had called me, that I realized where I needed to be. Where my people were.

But it wasn’t until I saw her at Andy’s that night that I figured out she was the answer to that. She was where I needed to be. She still is. I’m not entirely sure what my life looks like after this, but what I am sure of is that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her in it.

I turn down the crossroad at the end of the one I’m on, in the direction of the Calway house. It’s too early for them to be awake, but I just want to run by. I just want to see it—the comfort of knowing that both my girls are in there, sleeping peacefully. I need that this morning.

As I approach their driveway, though, I hear a shriek of laughter. I look around toward the back of the house, and that’s when I see them.

Lo is chasing Harper around with a bubble wand. Catching her in her arms, lifting her off the ground and smothering her with kisses. Putting her down, and Harper chasing her. I just stand there, still, for a minute, watching them. She looks light right now. The show we put on for our children is nothing short of amazing. The way mothers can live two lives, shielding their children from all the pain in the world.

This is what I want.

I want them. Both of them. Atourhouse. At the crack of friggin’ dawn.

I jog up the driveway and around the house. Lo catches my eye, and it startles her for a minute, but I make a motion for her to stay quiet as I sneak up behind Harper. When she’s least expecting it, I swoop down from behind her and grab her, lifting her up and throwing her into the air. She giggles and squeals and moves all around as I tickle her sides, then wraps her arms around my neck as I spin her around.

I love her.

I love that she comes from her mother, but I love her, too. I love how spunky she is but so empathetic at the same time. I love how big she feels for such a little girl, but I also get this overwhelming feeling of wanting to hide anything bad in her vicinity.

“What are you doin’ here?” Lo asks, walking toward us with a smile. Her hair is messy and flipped to one side of her head. Her eyes are narrow and tired. She’s got on the same oversized sweatshirt again, pajama shorts that don’t match, a pair of men’s flip-flops, and socks.

And I’ve never been more in love with her.

I want to reach out and pull her into me, kiss her for everything I’m worth.

I swear to God, she’s never looked this beautiful. I want this version of her. Every damn day.

I want her so badly. But I can’t. Not yet. Not in front of Harper.

So I just smile at her, hoping that gets the message across. How badly I want to make everything good in her life—starting with ridding her life of Thad Dietrich.

She smiles back, this shy little grin that makes her even more irresistible, if that were even possible.

“I was on a run, thought I’d swing by, just make sure my favorite girls were safe and sound,” I say. She bites her bottom lip. “But I see you’re already up and at ‘em.” She shrugs.

“Someone was feeling lively around five o’clock this morning. We’ve been up since then. I try to get her out of the house when that happens so she doesn’t wake Dad.”

I nod just as a huge yawn takes over her body.

My poor baby is tired.

I get an idea, but I’m almost afraid to propose it.

I suck in a breath.

“What if…what if I hang out here with her for a little while?” I ask. She takes her eyes off Harper, who is spinning around in circles, and looks at me.

“What?” she asks.

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