Page 21 of Power Play

“Listen to me, Levi,” I say. He narrows his eyes on me. “I need you to understand something. First of all, I need you to understand that I have the life I have now because it’s the life I wanted. The circumstance might have been out my hands, but I have my daughter because Iwantedto have her. She’s my whole life, and I will work at the restaurant and sleep here at this house for the rest of my life if it means that she gets everything she ever needs. Okay?”

He nods and bites his lip.

“Of course, Lo. I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that. You know I love that girl. I just—”

I take his hands in mine.

“I know what you meant. And the other thing I need you to understand is that there has never been a day since everything happened that I have blamed you or faulted you inanyway for anything that happened. And I really need you to stop doing it to yourself.”

He doesn’t say anything. He just shakes his head, staring down at the ground. I lift his chin to me again.

“Levi, yousavedme that night. That’s what I need you to understand.”

He scoffs.

“Saved you? I basically left you for dead. I let him get away with it,” he says. I reach up and put my hand on his cheek.

“Because I begged you to,” I say. “I begged you, and you listened to me. You respected my choice, and you have for four years. You brought me home. You gave me a safe space. You slept on the fucking floor for me. How do you not see that you were the one thing that night that pulled me back down to the ground when I felt like I was floating away?”

Now, I’m fighting back my own tears. It kills me to know he’s spent all this time feeling like this. He lifts his eyes to me slowly, and I feel weak.

“Levi,” I whisper, “I’m okay. I’m happy. I might have thought back then that my first time was going to go differently, but—”

I stop talking when I feel his whole body straighten up. He glares down at me, his eyes wide and wild. I see his breathing picking up, and his big shoulders start to heave.

Oh, fuck.

“Levi…I’m sorry…I thought you knew…” I say. His eyes stay wide, and he doesn’t blink.

“He was yourfirst?”

CHAPTERNINE

levi

“Oh God, Levi,”she says, “I’m sorry. I just figured you assumed… I’m sorry.”

I’m seeing red, but I refuse to let her be sorry foranythingthat has to do with that night. I shake my head to try and cleanse it of the violent rage that has descended down around it. I open my eyes slowly, and she’s standing there, big brown eyes full of worry and concern.

I reach out and grab her by the waist, pulling her into me.

“Don’t you dare apologize for what he did,” I whisper to her. “Do you hear me?”

She doesn’t say anything. She just presses up onto her toes and kisses me. Hard. She runs her fingers through my hair, her tongue dancing around in my mouth. I moan and squeeze my arms around her, lifting her off the ground.

I hold her up against the wall, and we come apart. I look down at her, feeling my dick grow and press against her.

“Make me yours, Levi,” she whispers, and my eyes turn into saucers.

“What?” I ask, making sure I heard her correctly.

“Fuck me. I’m not his. I was never his. But I want to be yours. Fuck me,” she says again. I’m so fucking torn right now. If this were anyone else, anywhere else, I’d already be butt naked. But with her, I hesitate. This is a heavy fucking conversation. We have heavy history. I don’t want to become part of that heavy history.

I want to be a part of her future.

“Lo, are you…”

“Goddammit, Levi,” she says, rolling her eyes as she leans forward to bite my neck. “If you want me, take me. I’m giving myself to you. Iwantyou to have me.”