Page 71 of Wild About You

When I heard footsteps on the gravel I was expecting Jamie, but turned to see Fi, a wrap around her shoulders. She smiled at me but I could see hesitation on her face.

‘It’s like Piccadilly Circus around here,’ I said.

She looked around the empty drive. ‘Er, right. You really have forgotten what London is like.’

‘I’m a fully converted countrywoman,’ I said. ‘What’s up?’

She folded her arms. ‘I need to tell you something.’

‘Jamie just said the same thing.’

‘I guess he would.’ She glanced over her shoulder. ‘Look, they’re announcing their engagement tonight.’

NO. There was a rushing in my ears. I dropped Hugo’s lead, then quickly stooped to pick it up again before he cannoned off. ‘How do you know?’

‘Lucinda told Tally, and Tally told Tobias. He was sworn to secrecy but he’s just had his fourth glass of champagne and would probably tell me his pin number if I asked.’

‘Jamie asked her?’

She looked doubtful. ‘Not exactly. Apparently they had a discussion yesterday, and came to a mutual decision.’

‘How romantic,’ I said tightly. I was glad I hadn’t eaten anything because I definitely felt sick. And hot, like I was coming down with something. ‘I have to go,’ I said. ‘Tell Jamie I had to take a phone call or something.’ I pressed Hugo’s lead into her hands.

‘Anna?’ She put her hand on my arm. ‘I know it’s quick. And to be honest, I don’t think Jamie’s making the best decisions at the moment. But you wanted him to be free,didn’t you?’ She saw the look on my face, and put an arm around my shoulders. ‘Oh love. It’s okay.’

I shook my head. ‘No, it’s not. But it will be. I just need some space. I’ll see you tomorrow.’

I strode off across the carriage drive, headed down the quiet drive through the deer park. Put one wobbly foot in front of the other, again and again. I needed movement; I needed to shake off this feeling. Once out of sight, I took my high heels off and started running.

By the time I got home, my lungs felt scoured, as though I’d reached parts of them I hadn’t exercised in years, and my feet were sore from the uneven, gravelly ground of the lane. Two words had pounded around my head as I ran.My fault. I had no right to get upset. I’d told him to marry her.

But he looked so unhappy.

And I felt so unhappy. And he was mine. He was bloody mine.

Just say one word, he’d said. Was he asking me to stop him?

I changed into tracksuit bottoms and a jumper, wiping the mascara trails from my face and ignoring the hon, where’s you? texts from Tobias, who had, he informed me, moved onto the punch. I climbed into bed and burrowed into my fluffy white duvet, a steaming mug of tea on the bedside table beside me.

I wasn’t sure I could bear to be around Lucinda if she was planning her wedding to Jamie. Although, maybe she’d be busy brushing up on her honorifics. Practising her signature.Commissioning a sculpture of herself. I tried to laugh, but couldn’t.

My phone buzzed. From Fi.Announcement made, toast drunk.

I sent her a face-covered emoji and took a sip of tea, all the time choking back tears. It was very simple. I needed to leave Stonemore. Not immediately. I’d wait and see if we were shortlisted for the award. Document the rewilding plan fully, ready for the next manager.

I opened the calendar on my phone and created an entry on today’s date: ‘T-14’.

Fourteen days to resignation.

CHAPTER 22

I came into the office the next morning to find Tally sitting at her desk, strangely quiet. I’d imagined she’d be cock-a-hoop that the ball she’d played such a central part in arranging had resulted in a dynastically significant engagement. But instead of establishing a new mood board for the wedding, or ordering commemorative mugs with Lucinda and Jamie’s faces on them, she was softly tapping away on her keyboard with a pensive look on her face, pale and dressed down in jeans and a navy sweatshirt.

‘Tobias’s flatmate just called, he’s going to be late,’ she said, when Fi and I came into the office, having met by accident on the drive.

‘I bet he is,’ said Fi, switching her computer on and plumping up her chair cushion. ‘When I drove him home, he said he was so drunk he couldn’t see. I guess I’m on my own with the email enquiries this morning.’ Fi received awide range of enquiries, from lost property to whether the estate could be used for filming. ‘Oooh good, there’s only forty-three new messages this morning.’

We smiled at each other, but Tally didn’t look up. Her glum silence infused the air.

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