Page 28 of Wild About You

‘What do you mean?’ Lucinda said.

‘Exactly that. Yes, I’d like a home, but I won’t be having children.’

She gave herself a little shake. ‘Oh, I’m sure you will.’

‘No, I won’t.’

‘You say that now, but—’

‘I mean it.’

‘But—’

‘I can’t have them,’ I blurted out, more violently than I’d intended to.

God, that silence was awful.

Luckily, at that moment the enormous pile of wooden Jenga bricks teetered and collapsed with a roar that sent Hugo barking and running off and Tally squealing anew. All conversation was forgotten as Jamie went after Hugo and the rest of us started to pick up the bricks, Fi yawning audibly and suggesting that we all go home. Callum said he was heading outside for a vape. As he left, I felt a pang. My confession had ruined the fun and I imagined I was looking less ‘flingable’ by the minute.

I busied myself by collecting glasses and plates andferrying them to the kitchen, where I found Jamie comforting Hugo. The little beagle had attempted to shelter behind one of the kitchen cabinets and Jamie was tempting him out with a piece of chicken.

‘Hey,’ I said, neatly piling the plates.

‘Hey.’ He waved a piece of chicken in front of Hugo. Hugo snatched it and bolted past me into the main room.

I took a breath. ‘You pushed the Jenga over, didn’t you?’ I said. ‘I saw you nudge it.’

He glanced up at me sharply in a way that told me all I needed to know.

‘Thanks for the diversion,’ I said, trying to process that he’d been my unexpected ally.

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he said, raising an eyebrow, then stood up and tutted. He looked so neat: his hair perfectly in place, his shirt pristine. It took effort to be so controlled. ‘You clearly don’t know how to load a dishwasher properly.’ He wrestled a wineglass out of my hand and I was about to tell him not to start mansplaining when Lucinda bounced through the doorway.

‘Helllooo!’ she said. ‘Jamie, Fi and Richard are heading off, they’re taking Tally. Would you like to go with them, Anna?’ She looked at Jamie, who was rearranging the contents of the dishwasher as though it was a game of Tetris, and leaned against the wall. ‘I can always stay, J.’ She raised her eyes from beneath the thick canopy of her lashes, and bit her lip.

I had never seen someone make such a blatant pass. I fearmy mouth may have opened like a goldfish. But Jamie was unperturbed, and nothing crossed his poker face.

‘Actually,’ he said, ‘I’d told Anna I would take her home, to save Fi and Richard an extra leg of the journey.’ I opened my mouth to say it was no distance at all, then shut it at the sight of the look he was giving me. ‘I’m taking Callum anyway. Why don’t you go with Fi, Lucinda? They won’t mind dropping you off.’

‘Sure,’ she adapted smoothly, her smile just as bright as it was before, but a faint tinge of pink in her face.

I watched Jamie as he waved off Lucinda and the others, then we continued fractiously loading the dishwasher whilst we waited for Callum. I’d just slotted a plate into the lower section when I heard Jamie clear his throat, and looked up.

‘I know you must have felt pushed into saying more than you wanted to, earlier,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ I swallowed, hard. Tried to find my breath. ‘That’s okay.’

‘And – I’m sorry. About all of it, you know?’

‘Thank you,’ I flapped my hands, thinking I could accept anything but his pity. ‘It’s fine. You’ve put that bowl in the wrong place.’

‘I think you’ll find it’s the perfect place,’ he said, and smiled when I narrowed my eyes at him.

I slotted a handful of teaspoons into the rack. ‘You know,’ I said, with the unnerving certainty of the slightly tipsy, ‘if my situation has taught me anything, it’s when happiness is there, we need to grasp it.’

‘Right,’ he said, twisting a mug so it sat properly.

‘She seems like excellent countess material to me,’ I said. ‘Just saying.’

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