Page 99 of Wild About You

I choked on my second sip of whisky. ‘What?’

He shook his head. ‘Said I wanted to wait, it was romantic, etc. But the truth was, I couldn’t touch her. Not when we were fresh in my mind. I tried very hard to get over you.’

I handed him the mug back and he took his own sip. ‘But I wasn’t over you. And when we were in London, I realised I really wasn’t. It hit me like a sledgehammer. When you went out – to see your ex, I presumed – I was so jealous, I didn’t know what to do with myself. And being in that apartment, so close to you. The number of times I almost reached out and pulled you into my arms. When I saw you outside Stonemore the other night, I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear to think of what I’d lost. I didn’t need your pity.’

He put the mug down, took my hand, turned it over and kissed it. ‘Can we just, please, be together.’ Then his expression changed. ‘This isn’t pity? You’re not just here to get me off the hill and back to Stonemore?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ I took his face, stared into his eyes. ‘I’m in love with you, Jamie Mulholland. I’ve tried not to be, but I’ve failed. And yes, we can be together. Because…’ I paused, and saw him tilt his head at me, watching me. I remembered Roshni’s words, and the way they had cutthrough everything with their truthfulness. I’d been so proud of all my ‘no’s’. But in the end, I’d been saying no to happiness – mine and his.

‘Because?’ he said.

I stared at him. ‘Because I want you for myself,’ I said. ‘I want to be happy. And I think that might make you happy, too.’

I saw the smile dawn in his eyes as I said it, even though the words sounded strange to me.

‘Then it seems we don’t have a problem,’ he said. He tipped my chin up where I’d looked away. ‘I tried to follow your instructions,’ he said. ‘I tried so hard not to love you. But I can’t do all this – I can’t be here at Stonemore, I can’t be myself – without you. You think I haven’t considered the children thing, but I have. I’ve thought about nothing else since the moment you told everyone. And I’ve made my peace with it. I’d rather have you – there’s not a shred of doubt in my mind. Anna, promise me you won’t go.’ It cost him to say it, I could see that – to drop that high, cold guard.

‘I promise.’ I curled up against him. Felt his arms tight around me. Did I really dare to do this? Did I dare to be happy, really happy?

It was too late. I already was.

The fire was ablaze as it had been on that evening we’d been stranded. ‘They say there’s going to be snow,’ I said, staring into the flames.

‘I’m not scared of the snow if you aren’t.’

‘I’m scared of the shovel, and of your strict chocolate rationing,’ I said. ‘Callum’s coming back to get us in,’ I checked my watch, ‘forty-five minutes.’

‘Maybe we should make good use of the time.’ He nuzzled my neck, and I could feel goosebumps running over my body.

‘Not in front of Hugo,’ I said. The beagle’s eyes were balefully half open, as if he couldn’t bear to take his eyes off his newly found master.

‘Awkward,’ said Jamie. ‘He’s supposed to be my wing man.’

‘Oh, he is. Look how he brought us together.’

‘Anna?’ Jamie handed me the mug again. ‘You’re going to need another sip.’

I sipped dutifully.

‘I know this might seem sudden, but I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. Will you marry me?’

‘Marry you?’ I said faintly.

Jamie held my gaze. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I’m not scared if you’re not.’

‘Marry you?’ I said. ‘And Stonemore with its leaky roof? And Tally with her endless lecturing on etiquette? And this smelly beagle?’

He held my gaze, and I could see he didn’t know whether to smile or frown at me.

And I thought of my cottage, my self-help books, my journal and its No, inked in bright colours again and again and sprinkled with glitter. And I looked into the eyes of thisastonishing man, and thought how strange it was that even when you wanted nothing to do with it, life had a way of seeking you out.

‘Yes,’ I said.

EPILOGUE

We were married at Stonemore on the coldest Valentine’s Day you can imagine, with snow a metre deep outside. The celebrant had started their journey early that morning, and came the last part on foot, trudging up the long drive of Stonemore with a bright and determined expression (‘as long as I’m away by twelve, I can get to the next one’). In the grand entrance hall, Jamie took my hand and promised to love me always, and I to love him. We were surrounded by the people we loved the best: Fi, Richard and Ross; Rose, my mum and stepdad; Roshni, George, Kes and Jake; a handful of close friends including Callum, Tobias and Tally (who had to be forcibly stopped from trying to plan a much bigger wedding). And Hugo, who danced around us and almost tripped both of us up several times during the ceremony. He looked perfectly nice without a bow tie, obviously.

We didn’t buy anything expensive for that wedding,other than the rings: no tartans, no evergreens, no scores of candles. And I couldn’t have been happier. Jamie lit a silver candelabra on the hall table and as the snow flurried outside, we made our vows in the quiet hall, in air that seemed filled with warmth and happiness despite the cold weather. Afterwards, we ate sausage and mash in the flat, with Hugo cadging chunks of sausage from pretty much every guest. For afters, we’d planned to hoover up a chunk of ‘Lucinda’s bloody wedding cake’, as the gargantuan construction had come to be known; tiers of it had served as everything from Ross’s christening cake to the staff Christmas party cake, and it still wasn’t gone. But when I came to dish it out, I found that Jamie had bought a different cake instead: a light sponge, frosted with fondant icing and decorated with hearts. ‘Something new,’ he said to me, with a smile (I’d borrowed my shoes, and worn a blue brooch, for luck).

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