Page 57 of Wild About You

But that hadn’t stopped me from studying the planting plan our archivist had provided for me, and incorporating some new elements to Belheddonbrae. Elements that I hoped would please him, because somebody had to cheer the grumpy bugger up. Make him crack out that sunshine-from-clouds smile.

I was making too much of this. It was a good thing that I didn’t dislike him so much. We could develop a positive, friendly working relationship. At a distance.

The room the conservator was working in was roped off from the public, so I had to thread my way past several curious tourists before stepping over the rope barrier and going over to him. Yet again, the joy of leaping the rope, and striding across the room with an air of authority. I really had to master this tendency towards twattery.

‘Alright, Anna?’ Reg the conservator raised his magnifying headpiece. ‘Sadly you appear to have forgotten my cup of tea.’

‘Oh no! Sorry.’ I wanted to tell him I’d been too busy daydreaming, but thought I’d probably hit my weirdness quota for the day. ‘I’ll go and make you one.’

‘No, don’t worry, I’m about to stop for lunch anyway. I should be finished today.’

‘Great.’ I noticed him glance over my shoulder and turned to look.

Jamie. As though my jumbled feelings had summoned him out of thin air.

I don’t know how long we looked at each other, but when Reg cleared his throat I realised it must have been more than a few seconds. I got a hit of Jamie’s musky aftershave. Had he always smelt that good?

Luckily, whilst I tried to gather my scattered thoughts, Jamie was introducing himself to Reg and chatting about the cabinet.

‘So it’s probably best not to let your dog pee on it in future,’ Reg was finishing up. ‘Even though it had an, er, positive effect this time.’

I decided to slip away and leave them to it. ‘See you later…’

‘No.’ Jamie shot a look at me. ‘I need a quick word. If you have a minute.’

I gulped audibly and nodded. Reg frowned questioningly at me. ‘Laters,’ I said.

‘Er, okay,’ he said.

I followed Jamie to the far side of the room. We were in the red salon, a drawing room decorated with red silk wallpaper and deep patterned carpets. Luckily it was the size of a tennis court, so we found a place discreetly distant from Reg and the tourists. He glanced back at them, caught my eye, and smiled. But I caught the sadness in his face and my sympathy for him blindsided me as much as his smile normally did.

‘I thought you were in Newcastle,’ I said, watching him as he looked out at the deer park, the light bright on his face. He looked every inch the earl in that moment: straight-backed, the aquiline lines of his face and mouth reminding me of every portrait in the place.

‘Iwasin Newcastle,’ he said. ‘I’m thinking of thinning the art collection.’

‘Really?’ I was shocked. ‘Tally hasn’t mentioned anything.’

‘She doesn’t know.’ He glanced at me, then back at the distant tourists, and I saw the flicker of worry there.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you – or anyone. It’s the bloody roof again. There’s some urgent maintenance that needs doing and we don’t have the money.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ I said.

‘This makes a change,’ he said, his mouth twitching into a slight smile. ‘I thought you might have a reprimand for me.’

‘Nope,’ I said. ‘No reprimand.’ The air seemed to crackle between us. ‘I mean,’ I scrabbled for the right words, thinking of all the ‘yes’ moments I’d answered with ‘no’. ‘I know I’m quite negative sometimes, but I don’t mean to be unsupportive.’

He was frowning. ‘Are you joking?’

I blinked at him.

‘Anna? You’re one of the most can-do people I know. You’re always thinking of others, helping other people.’

I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

‘I wasn’t saying you were unsupportive. Just that you occasionally – put me in my place.’ His mouth twitched again, with something that might have been amusement.

I felt obscurely relieved, seeing his expression. I’d begun my ‘No’ journey thinking I wouldn’t care about other people’s opinions anymore, but it turned out I still did, even after months of mantras. ‘And you don’t mind?’

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