Page 42 of Wild About You

‘I suppose,’ she said.

‘Why don’t you go and get yourself an ice cream?’ I tried not to sound patronising, but failed.

‘I might, actually,’ she said to my surprise, brightening up.

I released Jim from his purgatory then marched over to Pat and started to help with tea and scones. They’d been spreading the butter too thick (‘spread on, then spread off’, my mother used to tell me, when we were struggling to pay the gas bill), so they’d almost run out. I set about changing this and also halved the amount of jam being given out to punters. It turned out my working-class economising skills were useful at Stonemore after all.

‘That Tally was eating all of the candy floss,’ Pat said, nudging me.

‘Can I have some sugar with my tea?’ said an elderly gentleman. ‘I did ask before.’

‘Of course,’ I said brightly, as Pat raised her eyebrows. Glancing up, I saw Fi and Richard disappearing off out of the front door, hand in hand and giggling like teenagers. It was so good to see them looking carefree. Fi had recently been wearing that tired, worn look that nights spent worrying gives you. I knew they were embarking on another cycle of IVF.

‘I said coffee, not tea,’ said another woman, who had a small child hanging off her arm, begging for more candy floss.

‘Sorry!’ I got her a fresh cup and poured her a coffee.

‘Hey, trouble.’

I looked up from my daze.

Callum was there, smiling, damp-haired from the rain and with a twinkle in his eye. ‘Thought I’d drop in. How’s it going?’

I gave a little huff of relief. ‘Good, thanks. Tea? On the house?’

‘Don’t mind if I do. How are you, Pat?’

‘All the better for seeing you.’ She winked at him.

I bustled round, getting Callum his tea. Then I felt someone’s eyes on me.

Jamie, in a brief respite from greeting people and having selfies taken, was leaning against the wall and watching me.I lifted my chin and carried on working as though I hadn’t seen him, smiling brightly at Callum as he took a bite out of a biscuit and offered me the other half. Damn it, I even let him post it into my mouth then almost choked on it as Lucinda streaked past, clearly in pursuit of her earl.

I heard a door slam and when I looked back, Jamie was gone.

I could actuallyhearthe blood thundering in my ears. Honestly, with these cardiac symptoms I should probably go and see a doctor.

Goal of the week, I wrote in my journal that night:try not to have panic-palpitations every time Jamie walks into the room.

CHAPTER 13

I found myself looking forward to summer at Stonemore. As the days grew longer, Fi and I took to eating lunch on a picnic blanket near Belheddonbrae when it was sunny, taking it in turns to create elaborate salads with increasingly outlandish ingredients. In the evenings, I walked across the deer park and down the lane to the cottage whatever the weather. By the time I got home, I’d usually forgotten any stress from the day (Sean had been texting but as he was probably trying to recover more lost CDs, I ignored him). If my mind kept returning to the weird moment between me and Jamie, the day job on his estate was an excellent distraction. Out on the hillside of the Stonemore Estate, things were much simpler. The air was so pure and clear, limpid as spring water from one of the estate’s streams, but scented too, carrying with it faint traces of forest and newly turned soil. Along withBelheddonbrae there was always plenty to do outside, whether supervising the work of volunteers or taking water samples from the estate’s streams. Once a week, I toured the whole estate with Callum, and we discussed new initiatives and recent work that had been done, checking that all was as it should be.

The section of ancient forest, and its soft, lower light, was a haven. Spruce and fir had been carefully thinned to increase light levels and allow native species to recover. I’d worked alongside a team of contractors who were far more efficient than me, but nonetheless appreciated my efforts. With every small increment of change on the estate, I could feel my body and mind gradually strengthening.

I showed Callum what had been done in the forest. I wondered if he would try and dismiss it, or even say he couldn’t see any difference, but he nodded gently as I spoke to him about it. ‘It’s grand,’ he said softly.

‘And some other good news,’ I said, as Callum swept his gaze around the area, taking it all in. ‘The beaver pair are being introduced to an area by the Claybeck stream next week. We’ve been surveying for the right spot, and all the experts are satisfied. The charity confirmed this morning.’

Callum said nothing. I gave a satisfied sigh and glanced back at him, then did a double-take. ‘Are those… tears in your eyes?’ I said.

‘No!’ he said, and sniffed. ‘Sharp wind up here today, that’s all.’

I nodded and looked away. No point in arguing witha man who said he wasn’t crying. Then I felt him tap my shoulder. ‘Sure, Anna. It’s a beautiful thing.’

I nodded back, and found the sharp breeze had got to my eyes too.

He put an arm around me and gave me a squeeze, and I looked up at him. Slowly, he began to drift towards me, and I found I was bracing myself. This was what I had wanted, wasn’t it? A bit of fun with Callum?

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