Page 27 of Wild About You

I glanced at him warily, but he looked curious rather than grumpy. ‘It can be, but it’s wonderful for insect and bird life. You’re going to have to let the wildness in at some point,’ I said, making an effort to smile so brightly that I probably looked deranged.

‘I suppose I am,’ he said quietly, turning off the road.

The estate felt entirely deserted as Jamie clicked a control to open the gates. The Land Rover scudded down the long drive, glistening with the damp of evening, through the deer park. I spotted the ghostly white shape of a deer as it lifted its head and ran, fleet-footed, towards the trees. Most of the lights in the building were out, including in the staff office; the front doors locked and bolted. Only two windows in the mansion glowed with light on the upper floor: Jamie’s flat.

He parked on the carriage drive and we went in through an unobtrusive side door I’d never noticed before, through a back corridor with green peeling paint. Eventually I began to recognise the stairs and corridors. As we entered the flat,Hugo greeted us with a flurry of barks and jumped up to sniff my face and stare at me. As his pup-eyes fastened on me, I felt something unlock in me. I had to blink away tears at the tenderness I felt.

‘Anna!’ Fi came to greet me, arms open. I accepted her hug gratefully. ‘Come on.’ I could hear the sound of conversation in the main room. I put my arm in hers and we went in.

Richard, Tally and Callum were in the middle of an intensely competitive game of Scrabble. ‘I just don’t think it’s a proper word,’ Tally was insisting. She was holding an enormous glass of something pink with an umbrella in it.

‘Look it up, Tallulah,’ cried Callum. It was the most animated I’d seen him. ‘A liger is an offspring of a lion and a tiger.’

‘Wine?’ Jamie had appeared at my side.

‘White, please.’

Just for once, he didn’t say anything snarky and returned quickly with a cold, full glass. ‘Dinner’s coming up soon.’

‘Great,’ I said, hoping my stomach didn’t produce an audible swamp-creature sound.

He disappeared off to his tiny kitchen.

I caught Fi’s eye. ‘You see,’ she murmured. ‘He’s nice.’

I shrugged. ‘For once.’ I gave her a rueful smile then took a big swig of wine and sat down on the floor next to Fi, enjoying watching the rest of them bicker with each other. Jamie brought out plates of baked potatoes and salad and we all ate, cross-legged on the floor, collectively playing the game.I saw all of them in a new light: Callum seemed animated, occasionally catching my eye and smiling; at one point, Tally laughed so much at a joke that she smudged her eyeliner with tears of laughter; Fi rested her head on Richard’s shoulder and seemed more relaxed than I’d seen her for weeks. Hugo picked his way through the group, picking up titbits and strokes. There was a sense of camaraderie in the room, which was the complete opposite from how I’d felt just a couple of hours before. Once I even looked up and saw Jamie’s gaze resting on me, in a dazed but not unfriendly way. He raised his glass to me and I did the same in return.

Callum was just setting up an oversized game of Jenga that Jamie had found in a cupboard when there was a knock at the door and Lucinda’s head popped round.

‘Hullo!’ she piped. ‘I was just exercising Jessamy and I heard you all laughing. Mind if I join?’ She was still dressed in jodhpurs and a pristine tweed coat. There wasn’t a speck of dirt on her.

‘She looks like a princess,’ I whispered to Fi as Jamie took Lucinda’s jacket and got her glass of wine.

‘She’ll have been home and got changed,’ said Fi, sipping her elderflower cordial with a knowing glance. ‘Her mother will have dropped her off at the gate.’

Lucinda waited until Jamie sat down next to the Jenga, then joined him, draping her arm over his broad shoulders. He shifted, slightly uncomfortably, but looked as though he didn’t want to embarrass her by shaking her off. I almost choked into my wine, then started coughing.

‘You okay, Anna, love?’ Callum pounded me on the back.

‘Perfectly fine,’ I said, recovering myself, and making a mental note that he had called melove.

At first we all concentrated on the game. Tally was highly entertaining, squealing every time she pushed a brick out of the structure. But before long, Lucinda began talking, and she introduced a truth or dare element into the conversation. It was a bit like being at school, only it was the cringey element of school, where you somehow let something slip that would be used against you for ever after. I stayed quiet as the conversation ranged over everything from favourite colours to how old you were when you first kissed someone.

‘How about you, Tally?’ Lucinda said, after Tally had removed a brick from the teetering wooden pile, squealing as she did so. ‘Is there anyone special in your life?’

Tally blinked. I suddenly felt protective of her, with her smudged eyeliner and pink drink. Yes, she was spiky, but I’d seen a new side of her: throwing herself into games and laughing at full pelt. There was a twinge of vulnerability in her eye as she answered. ‘No, I see myself more as a career woman.’ I nodded in support. ‘Like Anna,’ she added fiercely.

All eyes swung to me and I hastily revised my new liking for Tally.

‘Really, Anna?’ said Lucinda kindly. ‘Is that how you see yourself?’

I gazed into the depths of my wine glass. ‘I think we’re all multi-faceted human beings,’ I said. ‘But yes, I suppose I am quite focused on my career.’

‘Oh, I don’t buy that,’ said Lucinda. ‘You’re just waiting until someone special comes along. That’s what we all want, isn’t it? A home? A family?’

I saw Fi look sharply down. In the past I would have said something neutral, non-committal. But now, I turned back into the full beam of Lucinda’s gaze.

‘Nope,’ I said.

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