Page 71 of Knot Their Opening Act

The early warnings of this rut came yesterday morning, but I know pretty well by now how to keep it under wraps. I usually end up catching some cold or generally feeling shit, but that’s the worst that tends to happen.

Right now though, lying alongside the Omega who should be ours, my desire for her is so strong I feel like a walking volcano.

Suddenly I know I need space between us or I’m going to break and ask her if she’s here for something more than cuddling. I don’t want to be the one to start that. She had no trouble with the others. There’s a reason she’s struggling to reveal her needs to me, and it’s because I damn near ruined her career before it really got up to speed. And I don’t know how to forgive myself. If I ever can.

I roll over to face the opposite wall, allowing a couple feet of space between us, then grunt a good night, even though every cell in my fucking body isscreamingfor the opposite. “We need to get to sleep,” I murmur hoarsely. She rolls back to face me, probably giving me a look, but I won’t verify this. I need her to know she’s so welcome in my space, but I don’t need to let her see me fall apart.

My cock is hard as granite, but I try to picture any mundane image that can help me sooth the Alpha in me that’s roaring his battle-cry.

After a few minutes of sharing the darkness, a sudden light flares. I turn slightly and she’s—she’sscrolling on her phone. In bed with me. Like this is normal, for us to be sharing a bed, our arses nearly touching, and she’s just doom-scrolling away or texting friends!

Un-fucking-believable.

“Any chance you can turn that light down a little?” I grumble.God, don’t you know I want to take you in my arms and kiss every inch of your body and bring you all the pleasure you could possibly imagine? Don’t you know? Please, please just go to sleep so we can get through this.

“Huh,” she says. “Just roll over and put your eye mask on, princess,” she says, tiredness probably dulling the sarcasm that would otherwise be in her voice.

Even still, the light from her phone dims. But I do roll back over and close my eyes, drawn in by the intense pain in my groin, shooting up through my insides. I have needs, my Alpha’s needs. But primary among them is the need to protect her, to have her know she’s our Omega, and she will be the center of our world, our love, and our service—if she can deign to allow me that closeness.

I won’t sleep but I drift into a limbo, eyes squeezed shut, allowing myself to picture her body as it swayed on the stage, one hip jutting out and a long, shapely arm thrown up in the air, her other hand clutching the sequined mic as she reached for her highest note of the night. I wanted to be that mic in her hand, at the height of her power and performance and giving her all in that moment.

God. I can’t do this.

“I can’t sleep,” Jez announces, at what feels like pub-level decibels. “Can I cuddle with you?”

“Ah, of course, Jez. No funny business.” I’m not sure if I’m warning her or myself, but I give a dry chuckle. Her nervous, performative laugh in reply makes this entire pantomime more devastating.

“We need to sleep,” she says in agreement.

“And we will,” I say. Gently I slide an arm beneath hers and around her waist, holding her to me but not gripping tight, or taking advantage of this closeness.

After a few moments, her body turns, and the heat it emanates rolls into me like thunder across a humid field at night. My skin soaks it in, but the pain in my abdomen and balls is fucking killing me.

I close my eyes tight, but try with all my might to relax my face. I’d die if she knew how much effort this is demanding, but showing her she’s welcome without a single string attached feels like the most important step forward, if I could make it.

Then, she touches me.

I felt the strand of hair fall into my face. Her small, calloused fingertip reaches up to gently pluck it away. I pop one eye open and she’s staring wide at me.

“You have amazing eyelashes,” she says.

I stare back. “Yours aren’t so bad yourself.”

It’s almost like staring at a gorgeous and rare tropical fish in an aquarium. Glass between us. Knowing I’m not here to touch, certainly not to take home. Just to watch. Memorize. And wonder.

Then, that hand of hers finds mine under the blanket. She pulls it up toward her and places my hand against her breast.

And like an electric charge from a lightning storm raising every hair on my body, I am sparked to life, her soft skin against my palm and her hard nipple drilling into my own callouses. But instead of a lightning crash of heat or her reaching down for my cock, her mouth leaps to mine, and we press together like two seeking oxygen after too long under water.

And she tastes—oh, she tastes of everything I’d ever dreamed of, held at arm’s length. Now it’s right in front of me and she’s offering herself.

“Kai,” is all she says between our tongues and lips exploring each other. Her springtime scent flares and blooms, intensifying to a honeysuckle and rose combination. Even her hair smells like heaven. I lower my lips to the base of her neck and nip at her skin there gently with my teeth, teasing her, knowing how badly I want to mark her. No idea if that’s her desire as well. For now, I’ll take whatever she gives me and not ask for more.

“I wanted you before. Back then. And I want you now. If you can forgive me for holding so much against you, when really, you were just doing your job,” she says, and I nearly cry. I hold her tight to me, this small frame, this beautiful seraphim with a halo of blue and a heart of gold.

“I don’t know how you could possibly take any blame for yourself. But we can call it even, really. If you can forgive me. The truth,” I pause, leaning my head down toward her still-clothed chest, inhaling the sweet scent of her breasts and placing my face between them under Holden’s t-shirt. “The truth is I received a message from someone once close to you. And when I learned of your anxiety, I used that as a barrier. Because I knew you were our Omega. I’d scented you then, and I could barely contain myself. It was the hardest thing I ever did.”

“So why did you?” Jez cocks her head, but to my great relief, she doesn’t look angry or pull away or fucking knee me in the nuts.

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