Page 13 of Knot Their Opening Act

She’s probably eight years older than me and seems to know an awful lot about Fable, and has made it very clear how she’s never heard of me before. Still, she’s been polite and pleasant and more than helpful. I guess I just miss Viv.

“No worries,” Caylee chirps. “I’ve got the time. And you’ve got a job there with your makeup.”

I wrinkle my nose. I can’t tell if she means it as an insult to my face, or to my speed, or to my application abilities. However you spin it, it’s an insult all the same.

I gently tap my ring finger into the silvery eyeshadow and pat it on one eyelid, then turn my face to check the payoff. Hmm. Should’ve brought the pastels kit. This will hardly be noticeable from five feet away, let alone the crowd.

Although for the first time, my face will be a on big screen for the crowd to count every single goddamned pore. And this in itself would be enough to make me feel vomitous every ten minutes or so. But I push the thought down and wonder why the nausea’s been persistent since last night.

It sometimes crops up when I’m hemmed in a smallish space, or feel there are too many bodies around me. Right now, I don’t think that’s the case. Last night I meditated, ate a healthy tea of baked salmon and couscous, drank shedloads of lemon water, played my video game for a half hour, and went to bed before ten.

Still I felt something was off, even without the rolling-gut sensation hitting me now.

I go for some bright violet shadow and dab this on, then turn my head suddenly, forgetting Caylee’s braiding my hair still. She squawks, sighs, but carries on. Oops.

Viv never answered so I stab the phone icon on Viv’s contact screen again.I’ll be free all day, just talk whenever you need it! I wish I could be there!

I know why she’s not. Poor Viv. Her morning sickness has become all day, and she’s been poorly for the last three weeks. It didn’t bother her in the beginning but it’s kicked in now with a vengeance. Those triplets want to make sure she remembers every single day of this pregnancy, it seems.

I send a quick audio message. “Hey girl, I’m getting ready now. Call me when you can.” With Caylee standing right behind me, it’s hard to say,My assistant is no stand-in for you, I feel like I’m going to yak, and I don’t know how to get through this performance without you cheering from the side.

But even if I could send that message right now, I—couldn’t.

I let out a hefty exhale and look down at the makeup brush and lipstick tube in my hands, sitting in my lap. Viv already feels terrible for the timing of all this, and it’s so totally not her fault. Anything I say will only make a pregnant woman feel worse, and I won’t do that to my best friend. She’s done her cheering for me all these years. I cannot ask for more.

Ash bursts back into the room, prompting a fresh wave of anxiety. He’s been fairly calm throughout the weeks of rehearsals, but when the action kicked off this morning, he turned into a whirlwind of industry, orders, questions, and confirmation-gathering from every single crew member and venue worker.

“Okay folks, Jez is on in ten. We good?”

In the mirror I see my band members stand, all nods and smiles. Ry and Gareth high-five, Murray is muttering something under his breath—some sort of mantra or prayer?—and Shay starts doing jumping jacks, which she always does pre-show.

They all get on well, which makes me smile. I just feel a bit of an outsider. Which makes it all the better when they come around me in the chair as Caylee, having finished my hair and sprayed a cloud of hairspray around me, backs off to check notes with Ash and Ferny.

“Tonight we’re going to set the standard for killing it, Jez,” Shay says, beaming at me in the mirror. “I know you’re worried about those pricks, but just remember what you told me when we first hooked up—they were the band that made you want to perform, before they became the arseholes who made you want to performbetter.”

She says this last part out the corner of her mouth with her hands on my shoulders, leaning over toward my ear. The guys might’ve heard her, but they’re on my payroll. Whatever they think about Fable and their music, they’ve signed a contract to back me up. I don’t care if they become chummy or starry-eyed with Fable; they’re professional touring musicians, and as long as we continue to gel as we have in rehearsals, I’m cool.

“Thank you,” I whisper back to Shay. I’m about to cry. She motions Caylee over and I stand as Caylee points a tissue box at me with a small smile.

“Honestly, girl, first night jitters are normal,” Caylee says. “Get this one out of the way and you’ll be flying. Give yourself grace for any missteps, and take the good as a win.”

“You’ve given this pep talk before,” I say with a grateful smile. “I swear, I’m not usually emotional at shows, but I’ve never had an actualopening nightbefore.”And probably never will again, so enjoy it.

Shay pats my shoulder and Ry, Gareth, and Murray follow suit as they file out the door. Ash and Ferny are out in the hall with security, waiting to walk us to the stage. Caylee stows the tissue box, pulls lip gloss out of nowhere and dabs some on my lips. “You’re good to go. Eyes on the prize, girlfriend.”

I nod mechanically and she brings up the rear. As we march toward stage left, the wave of the crowd’s noise nearly makes me swoon.

Strong arms grab my shoulders and Ash’s voice murmurs in my ear, “Not now, Jez. You can faint after the show, into the softest bed the city of Glasgow has to offer. On your feet, for now.”

Caylee’s in my other ear. It’s dark backstage and I can barely see where I’m being led, but the raucous roar out there is growing. They’re impatient, but not for me. “Are you going to be okay? Like, I know you are, but really?” she says.

I nod then realize she can’t see me. “Yes, I will be.”

And then, without any appropriate warning, I dart to the side of the line of us and throw up on the corridor floor near the loading dock.

I stand in shock for a moment. I haven’t been sick since a pregnancy scare with my alpha-hole ex Tristan five years ago. Thankfully, it turned out to be food poisoning.

Bile lines my throat. I try to steady my breathing. Caylee’s got an arm around my waist and Ash is hurriedly speaking into his ear piece. “Jez just puked. Get the others in position. Still going on time, two minutes. I’ll let you know otherwise.”

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