Page 7 of Knot Their Opening Act

“No, we weren’t there. We’ve been playing a lot of one-off shows in America this summer and fancied a break to start writing new material,” says Holden. “Been going really well!”

“And we weren’t invited,” says Nico, his mouth a flat line. Kai shoots him a thunderous look and Thomas winces, the most expression he’s given so far. A ripple of unease runs through the room, mostly from Ash, who closes his eyes for longer than natural.

“Okay, can we just address the thing no one wants to touch?” I say. “Not that I care what your fans think of you guys, but don’tyoucare? They’re going to demand to know why you’ve brought me along when you clearly despise me so much.”

“What makes you think this was our idea?” Kai growls.

I know it wasn’t, given what I heard outside the door. For a moment in my anger, I forgot about that.

“Your fans don’t overlap much, I’m sure,” says Ash slowly. “But can we not assume they’re such vastly different demographics? Fable’s tend to be thirties and older, slightly disenfranchised, book-smart, aware of current affairs, politics, economics. A lot of gamers, strangely.” He shoots a look at one of the guys but I can’t tell which one. “And the majority are male.”

The band all nods slowly as if this is a given.

“And you, Jesamine, your fans tend to be?—”

“Teeny-bopper girls who think glitter and whispers are a whole identity.”

“Hartley, enough! I’ve had enough of the attitude!” snarls Ash. He pounds a fist on the edge of the desk. “Look, you are now both my clients. That means I work for you, and want your careers to succeed as much as my own. Arcadia was my main focus, and I’m still their manager; you guys are next in line,” he says toward the Fable guys. “I chose carefully when I chose Jez, just like with you. And that’s final.”

The stern tone is not to be fucked with, so I zip my mouth.

“And you, Ms Jacobs—I see so much promise in the talent and persistence you’ve already shown. You’ve been hard at work for seven years on this career. That’s a serious and stable baseline. I want to take you further, and after speaking with Viv, I know that’s what you and she both want. And I want you to know I believe your condition should have no bearing on your ability to do so.”

I look to Viv at her tightly-drawn mouth and wide, hopeful eyes, and I simmer down.

“I will give you this one chance to back out,” says Ash softly, looking at me, holding my gaze. He pulls himself up to standing, arms dangling free. “I wanted to see what your immediate reactions would be to each other. You haven’t physically attacked the guys yet, so that’s a good sign.” A small smile from him begrudgingly draws my own. “I believe in you, Jez. I believe in all Viv’s done for you. I’m asking—not will you trust Fable. Will you trustme?”

I look at Thomas, Nico, and Holden, who have varying degrees of,This is mad but let’s hope for the bestwritten on their faces, while Kai’s looks more ready to erupt with a furious roast of my character.

But my thoughts rush back to the private comment he shared as I walked off the stage atTen to One, after he announced his feelings on my reliability.Let’s not make this personal. This really isn’t about music. I just don’t like the odds of someone like you surviving in the cutthroat business that this is. And you should hear that now, before you get too deep into waters you can’t swim in.

That’s what cut me. I could’ve somehow handled his hatred of me or my music or my voice or my face. But what got me was that he believed I wasn’t already deep in. That it wasn’t already my life.

That it wasn’t too late to back out and walk away.

It was too much like Tristan, my ex. Too much like the love of my life telling me I could never be anything more than a passing acquaintance. Because Fable on Fire had been my favorite band until that day. And the joy I’d felt when I knew they’d be one of my three judges on the show was like a rainbow shooting out of a unicorn’s horn.

To then be crushed. And my love turned to revulsion. To resentment. To brokenness.

Because that’s what hate is, in the end. And I embraced it. And made it my reason to push even harder. But unlike some, I refuse to give them credit formyhard work. I will never say,Their rejection forced me to go deeper.

No. My pain did that.Idid that.

My words come slowly. “Viv and I had planned for one of her contacts from the Artists Guild to hook me up, and keep me running until after her maternity break. But it has been eating at me.” I turn to Viv and frown. “I can’t expect anyone to be as supportive to me as she’s been, and have asked more from her than I should. I know it’s time to step out and try something different.”

Heading out on the road, on a huge tour like this without Viv might kill me. But doing it with my sworn enemies? I honestly don’t know how I and my mental health will handle it.

Viv speaks up at last. “I’ve vowed to help up-and-coming artists, Jez. From day one. You knew that. Ash pinched you from the crowd. You’re up there now. He wants to bring you to a new level, and you won’t need what I can offer. Someone else will, after the triplets are born. But as far as best friends, girl, I am not going any-fucking-where. I’m a call away, always. Your talent is beyond me, Jez, and the world needs to see it.”

This is Viv’s way of saying to the others,Fuck with her and I’ll find you.

I swallow tightly, my throat pinched and my breath coming in short bursts. I sit up straighter in my chair to give my lungs more space.

How can I turn this down? Maybe I can beg Ash to open for someone else, even a much smaller tour. I’d rather play for smaller crowds than Fable’s crowds. But Ash isn’t stupid—he’s a success because he follows the industry with a microscope.

Viv stands, probably because her back is killing her. I stand and offer her a hand which she waves away.

“Jez, I think we should give our decision to Ash and go get some lunch.”

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